Luminosity

I picked up my daughter, Mercy, from school today with a whirl-wind of comments and questions of the lifestyle of Saudi. When I recently made the news public to the director, she seemed pretty blown away along Mercy’s teachers and staff of this oral-deaf school.

Let me backtrack for a second. Last year the director and I met at a starbucks to discuss my daughter’s mainstreaming issues (to wean her into an Islamic school full time, which is a whole other post). It was during this time as we sat across each other she said “You know, meeting you has really dispelled some thoughts I had about Muslim women.” Alhamdulilah. Pretty much she thought along the same lines as most people think, who have never encountered a Muslim woman face to face value. You know the whole oppression thing without a mind etc.  As she got to know our family through meetings, side-talk, seeing our daughter everyday in this tiny school, I think she got a clearer sense of Islam. I hope anyway.

 So alhamdulilah, we’ve had a very open and strong relationship with Mercy’s school as this is her 3rd year there (she’s in KG now) and prior to that 1-2x/s week for speech therapy.  So today I got bombed with inquiries. Things  like:

“I hope you’ll be safe.” “Women can’t drive, what do you think about that?!” “Everyone will think Mercy’s so cool with all her cute clothes.” “What about the public be-headings and public executions..and the children witnessing that?” “The kids there don’t have to wear black too and cover all-up, do they?” “With all the terrorism that’s happened in Jeddah and Riyadh is it safe and are you sure this is the right thing?” “Are there laws to protect children there?”

Quickly, I feared they would look at Islam as something ugly, after the positive image I thought I encouraged these years. I told them that Madinah is a Sacred City and so it is safe, I also told them that terrorism has happened here in NY and can happen anywhere. That children are loved and don’t need to wear black. The driving thing, I gave them the same answer that I gave my 7 yr old daughter, Sign, when she asked, that women not driving is a silly law, but in their view they do it to protect the women from being alone and therefore potential harrassment. Actually, my friend reminded me of the times I’ve been harrassed (on a very small scale compared to other Muslim women) here in this country, US, because I am a Muslimah and chances are that these incidents would not have happened if my brother, husband, or father were beside me. What really got to me though was the beheading comment though. I quickly said ” “No, this doesn’t happen in Madinah, because it is a Sacred City.” To be honest though, I’m not sure. I looked into it, and execution is definantly part of Islamic Shariah but it is so part of western society too. So now I feel like I have an obligation to go back to this woman and set some things straight with her.  My husband made the comment that they probably are thinking of Afghanistan rather than Saudi Arabia. But to them it doesn’t make a difference, I guess. I’ll keep trying inshaAllah.

 Anyways, I’m sure many people…especially people who aren’t Muslim think I’m nuts for leaving my freedom to drive, leaving the land of opportunity..the US, leaving everything I’ve ever known to a land with many questions. But to them I am also crazy for sporting the hijab in the summer heat, and believe I make a big deal out of things like halloween by ignoring it all together. I won’t lie and say that I won’t miss things about my home, aside from family which is an obvious given.  But there is something in my heart that craves Madinah Munawarra, because there is so much more to gain than lose inshaAllah..at least that’s what I hope, and may Allah accept this hijrah for us and purify the hearts of Muslims while rectifying the hearts of all. Ameen. Allah knows best.

These days are filled with endless tasks to do, much of it consists of phone calls, e-mails, signing, appointments, packing, donating, trashing and everything else that involves in wrapping our lives around here in the US, to head off to Madinah Munawarra insha’Allah. Today I contacted Children’s Hospital (Mercy has been seen there since she was a baby for various reasons) to assure that her medical records have been sent to me. Alhamdulilah, I’m almost done gathering all the children’s records, just a few more offices like the dentist’s and opthamologist’s insha’Allah.

But today Subhan’Allah, after I gave my daughter’s name…the woman at the other end asked “Have you recieved the pre-bill?” I naturally respond: ”What pre-bill?” She said: “The pre-bill of almost $130 (and change I don’t remember) you’ll need to pay for a copy of your daughter’s chart!” Pretty ridiculous I thought. I quickly asked to speak with the manager to clarify things for me! The boss further explained that there is a difference between the complete record which consists of nurses notes and flowsheets, while the summarized version just has the reports, assessment results…but free (of money that is!). So because I like to really to understand a situation, I called my pediatrician, well you know what I mean, my children’s pediatrician’s office, who authorized the release of medical records that the hospital has faxed over to them…to be sent to me, inshaAllah! Subhan’Allah, I much rather pay over a hunderd dollars to donate to the needy Muslims of Madinah Munawarra than to pay a business in support of them getting smarter to legally take money out of the pockets of children’s families with disabilities or illnesses!

Which reminds me of something I am often reminded of by my husband.  This country, as beautiful, rich, pleasant and colorful as it is; as technologically advanced and driven by its strong economy and power… is missing an enormous factor. That is of contentment. People who have more, want more. While people who have less are satisfied.  There is a serious lack of baraka going on around here. $1.00 can go a long way if not taken for granted, and with the materials of our western society it is so easy to get caught up in throwing a dollar away by accident, ‘losing’ money in the wash, or finding a few coins in the crevices of a sofa. Yes, I know this is a stereotype. But as I see it, it’s so true most of the time. The lack of modesty then surfaces. I’m not talking about how one is or is not dressed. Modesty in the mode of living is lacking here. Homeless people here at least have soup kitchens, and they do deserve much more than this so don’t get me wrong. But my point is, is that in many places of the world there is no concept of soup kitchens and this is because there just isn’t any soup at all!! SubhanAllah, may Allah always makes us of the grateful and may we be reminded that at any moment in time everything we own can be slipped away from us and we then can be left with ‘memories of belongings’ which is like a dream.

This is a reminder to myself more than anyone else, because I don’t think it will be as easy to use as many ziploc bags, or go out anytime and buy another pack of socks if all I have in my children’s drawers are singles.  This is an ability I want deactivated, because it will force me to be less careless in the blessings that Allah bestows upon me, and force me to think twice before choosing to waste…anything.  Accessibility to about anything in Madinah Munawarra is open and available.  But somehow by hearing the adhan 5x/s day, and seeing Islam with my eyes on a daily basis rather than just feeling it in my heart will hopefully discourage me from many faults I commit daily. A purification is what I hope for inshaAllah so that my desires of this donia are decreased, and an increased desire to serve Allah with more solitude is what I pray for.  Anyone on the face of the earth can be a strong Muslim inshaAllah. But the environment is either for that or against that. ALLAH knows what is in my heart and I hope for.  The US as my appointed location of life, all my life, has had an impact on my practice of faith and way of life. Some for the good and some for the not so good. So I pray that Allah will make Madinah Munawarra a better place for my family and I and be a support for us in reaching Jannah. Every tiny spec of baraka is a test too and maybe even moreso of a test than a blessing. So as much as this hijrah, if Allah facilitates it for us is a blessing, it is a huge trial for all of us, and we will certainly be in big trouble if our we refuse to let our souls be improved. La’Qadar Allah (may Allah forbid that).

May Allah protect us from Shaitan and Allah’s Punishment.  May Allah grant us all success in this donia and akhira, that we are always amongst those who remember that every iddy biddy thing we have…whether we take it for granted or not…comes from Allah and not our accomplishments…even if it’s a cent we own, it comes from Allah. Allah Knows Best.

My 7 year old said: “We need to say insha’Allah, because we might not even make it to Madinah, we all might go straight to Jannah instead.”

She may be right and Allah knows best.