Luminosity

Saudi schools are brutal.  This is my girls first year in one and even though istikhaara was made prior to enrolling them, istikhaara must be made again for this next coming year.  These past few weeks have been nothing short of a daily bullying fest.  One girl is pretty much livid that Sign won’t pretend to agree with all she says, follow her ways, or marvel at her words.  As if there’s only one.  Mercy smiles and get’s dirty looks for a complement. Subhan’Allah. In return, backbiting, slander and all that laghw’ is being produced out of the mouths of 3rd grade girls, and in of all places.. Madinah. I hear the problems with the boys schools are much more physical.  I have said it before, I don’t even want to consider my little guy going to school because it seems like I’ll have to give up a part of my maternal right to actually see where he’ll be most waking hours of his day.  Anyways, I’m pretty sure these ill behaviors are an embedded negative trait throughout the Kingdom, its obvious just by observing the adults who think its normal to cut lines at the supermarket.  I know it goes on in the US, but it can be dealt with rationally there, here it’s a different story. 

The Saudi culture here promotes the attitude to sweep problems under the rug rather than dealing with them.  A clear example how culture and Islam are not compatible.  I see this especially with the way children are raised.  Give a child a lollipop if he cries and commend her when she talks back rudely to the teacher rather than encouraging respect.  Ok, so I am exaggerating a bit.  Maybe its the school my daughters are in, but then when I speak to other Western moms, I hear that this a widespread problem everywhere around here.  The more deen one has in ones’ heart the better character one tends to possess around here in Madinah.  This is not the case of people in the West, because you often see people who are not Muslim with great manners but their purpose are of different intentions: for business, to avoid trouble, for teaching..for fame or poularity, for recognition and rewards or even certificates.  Not for the pure sake of pleasing Allah. 

Really, the more devout someone seems (and I say seems because only Allah Knows the condition of people) the more likely they are to smile, extend salaams, share, and be kind and be of those who love following the Sunnah and have Islam in the forefronts of their hearts.  The less they seem to have, the more rude they are in lines, interrupting, pushing, tend not to extend salaams.  Encouraging children to say please, thank you, not to stare, not to pick noses in public are just a few simple norms in child-rearing in the home, school, or at the park back in the States.  Here it seems there is a lazy approach in fostering these all too important positive social skills for many.  So as a result, teachers don’t have the tools in facilitating this type of behavior because namely, tarbiya starts at home..or at least it should! It is very common to see boys memorizing so much Quran, mashaAllah, but then you see them throw their empty bag of chips on the ground.  Or cute little girls wearing hijab but are gossiping.  No social responsibility or a severe lack thereof.  Sorry for the negativity, but all of us in our Ummah need to wake up and not undermine the importance of our kids behaviors.  It actually disrespecting towards our children if we are not willing to take the few minutes to get them thinking of the rudeness Shaitan ar-Rajeem is laughing at. 

To each his own in the US when it comes to personal beliefs and decisions made so long as it doesn’t affect the neighbors. Suzy Q might be an idol worshipper or atheist but her mask is loving, content and pleasant with all she meets.  When Joe Shmoe is seen at a traffic light throwing out an empty cup of Dunkin Donut’s out the window he is rejected by society!  There are also fines, regulations and consequences enforced from childhood through adulthood back in the US that promote social welfare.  Here to each his own about social responsibility, but you better talk the talk of Islam and look like a Muslim or you’ll have people playing the dawah card on you.  All with good intentions of supporting their brothers and sisters in striving for the sake of Allah ofcourse.  (Somehow this reminds me last Eid when a Saudi woman was cussing out the US and telling me its better that I left blah blah blah..and I have never felt like I had to be defensive of my upbringing home before-but for her to be so critical really irritated me because there is good I see over there too-not on an equal level,  but still there are positive things that these Saudis can learn from to better themselves as Muslims!)

You’d think that societal norms here of displaying good manners would be the case by default because it should be all about Islam here.  But people take this holy, sacred land for granted and it is indeed sad when social responsibility is not maintained for the sake of God, not even for the sake of the law.  What law though? Clearly, if there are such laws, regulations then there is no enforcement or public awareness of them.  This is why when you see a good deed being done here, chances are its because of the decency of that person, child and their love for Allah. But when you see a good deed being done there in the US its probably due to a positive cultural norm and not due to the fear of God. 

In all the stories of the Prophets, manners and good dealings with people were in the forefront with their teachings.  The Anbiya’ of Allah all were defensive of Tawheed and did their utmost without fearing the people to prove the Kalima of La’illaha il’Allah.  Their acts in this donia was all about worship.  Their dealings with the people were completed with  wisdom, fair preachings, kind & gentle interactions.  Their cleverness was intact with each of the groups they had to face.  But there was one man who most scholars say was not a prophet at all, yet there is a surah in the Quran named after him due to the wisdom Allah bestowed upon him.  Luqman, alayhee salat’ wasalaam (am I supposed to even use that phrase after him if he is not a Prophet- I will for now just in case!).  Allah describes for us the intimate sincere advise he gave his dear son, a prescription for a successful life. 

Allah the Almighty relates to us in al- Quran al Kareem (Luqman 13-19) the beautiful conversation below:

“And indeed We bestowed upon Luqman al-­Hikmah (wisdom and religious understanding, etc.) saying: ‘Give thanks to Allah,’ and whoever gives thanks, he gives thanks for (the good of) his ownself. And whoever is unthankful, then verily, Allah is All ­Rich (Free of all wants), Worthy of all praise.

And (remember) when Luqman said to his son when he was advising him:

‘Oh my son! Join not in worship others with Allah. Verily! Joining others in worship with Allah is a great Zulm (wrong) indeed.’

And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.

But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.

‘Oh my son! If it be (anything) equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and though it be in a rock, or in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Verily, Allah is Subtle (in bringing out that grain), Well ­Aware (of its place).

Oh my son! Aqim­-us­Salah (perform as­-Salah), enjoin (people) for Al-­Ma’ruf (Islamic Monotheism and all that is good), and forbid (people) from Al­Munkar (i.e. disbelief in the Oneness of Allah, polytheism of all kinds and all that is evil and bad), and bear with patience whatever befall you. Verily! These are some of the important commandments ordered by Allah with no exemption.And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allah likes not each arrogant boaster.

And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the voice (braying) of a donkey.’ “

The first thing Luqman teaches his son is the importance of Tawheed and avoiding anything that even leads to shirk and warning him how evil this act is.  Soon after we learn that Luqman stresses the neccesity in maintaining good manners for the sake of Allah’s Pleasure.  Hello Ummah, we need to rectify our manners so keep reading..this isn’t about just a father to a son, this is about a blessed man’s advise to the world..

 A man came to Luqman, the Wise, and asked, ‘Are you Luqman? Are you the slave of so-and-so?’ He said, ‘Yes!’ The man said, ‘You are the black shephard?!’ Luqman said, ‘As for my black colour, it is obviously apparent, so why are you so surprised?’ The man said, ‘You became frequently visited by the people who pleasingly accept your judgements!’ Luqman said, ‘Oh cousin! If you do what I do, you will carry these characteristics.’ The man said, ‘What is it that you do?!’ Luqman said, ‘Lowering my gaze, watching my tongue, eating what is lawful, keeping my chastity, undertaking my promises, fulfilling my commitments, being hospitable to guests, respecting my neighbours, and discarding what does not concern me. All these made me the one you are looking at.’”

Also, one of the companions of Rasullilah, alayhee salat wa’salaam, spoke of Luqman and mentioned of how he was self-restrained, taciturn, deep thinking, and had such excellent manners.  No one ever saw him spit nor ever heard him clearing his throat. He never paid attention to trivial matters that had nothing to do with him, and never was he found foolishly laughing.  He was one of the most pious people who exerted himself in worship and who was blessed with wisdom. Due to his truthfulness, it is said that he may have even been a judge during the lifetime of Prophet Dawud `alayhee salaam.  Allah knows best.

All the Anbiya’ had the best manners, but the story of Luqman and his dealing with the people is told for us to witness as an example for us everyday normal people to follow. Why do we ignore these lessons ourselves, and then expect it of our children? Or why don’t we even reflect or relate these stories amongst ourselves or in open?  There is no question, many Muslims need mannerism training! Living in the center of Madinah Muslimhood� I see all sorts of behaviors that have nothing to do with proper Islamic etiquette which I will not get into because there are a whole heck of lot of great things I see Muslims doing too which hopefully outweigh those negative traits on the Day of Reckoning. (YA RABB!). 

Everyone has the potential to die as a mumin or a kaafir, no matter what family they were born into, what means they had to live with, whatever sins or good deeds they committed.   Prophet Muhammad, sal Allahu alayhee wa salaam, taught us its our hearts followed by deeds with the important ingredient of Allah’s Mercy that we need to make it to Jannah.  So this means that every human no matter what circumstances they face ultimately have a choice to earn that Rahmah for eternal bliss or negate it.  As Muslims we know that fitra is our innate desire to do what pleases Allah, but that the choices we make support or reject that pure natural disposition.  Researchers have said, and still say many mental disabilities are genetic.  I can agree that some are, but the DSM seems to always be growing with new environmentally based-choice based illnesses as well. I am not going to get into this debate here, but having worked with people who have faced chronic mental illnesses, having seen the affects of people who drink habitually, while knowing that ALLAH gives us a choice on how to live our lives makes me want to throw the ‘victim’ card out the window in many stories I have come across.  This is why I really love this part of Luqman’s story: The Tongue.

 ”Luqman, who was a wise man, served an officer when he was a young boy.

One day, his master said: “Slaughter one of the sheep and roast the best part of its meat for me.”

Luqman obeyed his order and roasted the tongue of the sheep for his master.

The next day, the master called Luqman and said: “Roast the worst part of a sheep today.”

Luqman again roasted the tongue of the sheep for his master.

When the officer sat down to eat, he was startled to see the roasted tongue again. He felt curious and wanted to know the reason.

Luqman said: “If a tongue is truthful and honest, then it is the best part of the body. but when a tongue tells lies and utters dishonest words, then it is the worst part of the body.”

Ahh imagine…imagine the day when people will not feel bitter, resentful, jealous, impatient with one another.  Imagine when manners will be in the forefront of action and speech.  Imagine no one will take advantage of the ‘make 70 excuses’ for your brother or sister rule. Imagine when people will at least smile when they stare :-).  Tiny deeds means alot people and we will be in for a rude awakening if we are thinking our prayers, fastings, trips to makkah for more worship and our statement of shahada is all whats going to cut us a ticket to Jannah without a dip in Jahannam first!! A’uthubillah!!

Let’s try harder not to cop out that attitude, let’s not ‘fight’ to get to the front of the line first, let’s ALWAYS put ourselves in other peoples shoes as they say in the West, and let’s not be hypocrites in teaching our children one thing while we do another. We as an Ummah have major rectifying to complete..so rather than pointing the finger at them, those over there..let’s point it first at our own hearts. Here in Saudi, there in the US or wherever us Muslims roam in and to..

Whether its bullying, pushing to get through, clearing one’s throat…or smoking!!!!! we all need to consider & apply Luqman’s, the Wise, and his teachings towards his son and others.

Now a simplified version of what I intended to get across of this post!!  I’m sure my daughter could have thought of a cooler poem, but hey..cut me some slack, I’m no poet!

Avoid the Dip

watch the lip

respect towards others

love your brothers

be sisters of eman

strive for ihsaan

reflect on Quran

and the

wisdom of Luqman

(alayhee salam?)

if any of you know what we should say after his name then please enlighten me, ok? JazakAllah Kheir.. :-)   

may Allah guide all of us on the Straight Path, and keep us sincere in our speech and actions. ameen.                                                                                 

                                                                                                                              …and Allah Knows Best.

“The believers are those who believe in God and His Messenger, then have not doubted, and have struggled with their possessions and their selves in the way of God; those — they are the truthful ones. “

{Quran al Kareem, 49:15}

This is all I want for them, for my children..for my family..and myself.  May Allah guide us all and our Ummah..Ameen. 

Inquiring minds wanted to know, it went like like this…

Sign, my 8 year old girl asked: “Mama, why do we need to pray to Allah if He doesn’t need us too?”Me: “Because Allah created us for the only purpose of worshipping Him.”Sign: “Because He’s testing us?”Me: “Yeah, we all have a choice.”Sign: “Ok Mama”..and she leaves back to her bed with Quran recitation in the background playing into the childrens’ bedrooms.

I didn’t get into more detail with her, simply because she jumped out of bed to ask me these questions and I have drilled them with this information time and time again.  But I suspect that everything I teach my children will have to be re-confirmed in their hearts as adults for a pre-requisite in being adult Mumineen with taqwa, ihsaan, and a burning desire for ibadah.  Maybe “pre-requisite” isn’t the most appropriate way to describe it.   But to smoothly accept Islam as rationale reflectors rather than just accepting Truth without understanding it.  In my life I have met Muslims who accept Islam in their hearts in 2 ways:  Faith through reason, or Reason through faith.  I hope my children will have of both.  I don’t want them to follow everything blindly just because they should because then I fear salah and deeds will be done just for the sake of being done.  At the same time, there has to be a balance of not going overboard with the questions, because although we are to seek answers, we shouldn’t look for knowledge that is only with Allah. I know there is a hadith somewhere about that..

So now, I feel like I need to down pour them with knowledge and yet am not doing as much as needed.  Granted I am doing more these days, but still something is still off.  My patience crashes, I don’t get on their cases about wudu as I should, and their sibling rivalry drives me insane and leaves me in a hopeless mess. I can’t help but make duaa that Allah will guide them and that they will be amongst those in Jannat-al Firdous.  Raising these kids is real scary if I sit to think.  I have a huge responsibility and many times I think I undermine it, and by doing so I neglect my duties towards them.  People back in the US have often told me, family and acquaintenances, of how overly protective I am of them.  I don’t really think that. But  ironically, I get those comments here too.  Admittingly, I am fearful of letting go, because I know there’s going to come a time insha’Allah that I will have no other option.  If Allah wills, I only have a few more years of this and then my job of teaching them through stories, commanding them to do this or being convincing might very well end. They trust me, and Allah has given me 4 tiny souls with big hearts loving Him, as an Amana. I don’t want to screw up. I pray that I don’t.

 Subhan’Allah,  being a mom is not easy, everytime my ego tells me I’ve got it together..the reality check slaps me back to reality that its just an illusion. A cycle that can be explained like this.  You know that phrase “the more you learn, the more you know?” Well somehow for me it’s like the more I seek knowledge, experience or patience the more it seems I need.  This is that never-ending process I feel like I go through everyday with them. This cycle is my jihad with hopes towards Allah in turning them out as souls with true Taqwa.  

Speaking of Sabr’, on the way back from Makkah (insha’Allah i’ll get to that in a minute), Sign asked me what I was reading as my eyes were glared down in the middle of the dessert 1/2 way back home to Madinah.  I was on the chapter of Prophet Ayub, alayhee asalaam from  ”Stories of the Prophets”.  She started telling me the story of his great patience..and with detail too, mashaAllah. I took a look at her father beside me and asked if he taught this to her, she replied “No you did mama!!” SubhanAllah, I don’t even remember teaching these kids some things they come up with, but it proved to me that YES! Alhamdulilah, my my tiny effort in teaching my children through stories of Quran might be actually sinking in. With eyes of interest and hearts opened with imagination glowing from their eyes during storytime, explanation of sunnah time, and in general talking of Islam time, it gives me hope that they will apply these to their lives and it will impact their personalities in a positive light.  It’s just when I see them losing it with each other, huffing and puffing when I tell them to pick up their room, or to refrain from sharing with each other I get discouraged and have no choice aside from invoking Allah with this mothering gig I have going on. Sigh….kids will be kids…alhamdulilah.

The other night when we left Masjid an-Nabi and found our 5 pairs of shoes thrown on the courtyard and the stroller no where to be seen.  I said “Astakfullilah!” (3rd time to lose a stroller since we’ve moved here, and 2 others broke-so this is number 6!) Sign said “Mama, this is just a test from Allah!” While I thought, a test with the stroller again?!! We ended up finding some kids playing with it on the other side of the courtyard.  I was livid and the 10ish year old boy and little bro was scared.  I asked where his mother was..and reminded him that what he did was HARAM to take something that didn’t belong to him..especially in Madinah.  His mother apologized ofcourse, but then let out a comment that made me upset “I told him to go give the stroller back to who he took it from” Subhan’Allah, he was still playing with it right infront of her..maybe she was just busy or something.  I had to remember the 70 excuses rule given by Prophet Muhammad-salAllahu alayhee wasalam..Parents need to wake up, especially here. Before I moved here I thought for sure I’d find the strictest of parents and I’d be the laid back one.  This couldn’t be further from the truth though. Parents often give their children excuses that because they are kids given them the lollipops, let them stay up late, and let a whining child get their way most of the time (not just some).  I guess this works for them, but not for me…and yet I do not claim anywhere near perfection..(i mean no where at all!). So back to the point…fold up & lock up those strollers!!  This also probably explains what happened to our other one! May Allah reward the sister from one of the Khaleej countries who got up to help me look for it. Ameen.

Anyways, then there’s Mercy who whenever she catches me exchanging more than a few words after Salaams to another..she asks “Is she going to be your friend?!” Last night walking out of the Haram this is exactly what happened as she listened to another sister and I talking about our backgrounds (she’s from NY, afghani decent).  I politely reminded her, she is a sister in Islam and being sisters is more than being friends.  We talked about what brotherhood and sisterhood in Islam means, they thought it was funny that the Ummah are a bunch of sibling! :-)  But I think they finally get it alhamdulilah, and I can only hope that when they sneak a peak at me looking out for the elderly or my husband giving a bag of food to a random street worker that they will really understand the love between the believers.  I pray that Allah will accept this because good deeds mean nothing if not for Allah alone..(Ameen).  But the thing is, I try to follow the Book of Allah, and be the copy-cat of Rasullilah(as) and most beautiful women, but I am faaaaaaaaaaar from that, and there is sooooooo much room for improvement.  The problem is when my children see me as ideal. I don’t want them to see me as that, because then I fear they will not try to be better.  May Allah guide them so they remain upon fitrah..

Makkah was, as always is, Magnificient. masha’Allah.   Rennovations to make Sayee’ bigger is the current thing there, and although the locals of Saudi and the Arab states may call it busy, the world would call it pretty much empty especially for a Thursday Umrah.  Weather was beautiful, but by Friday at Fajr noses were red and drippy while their fingers were wishing they brought their gloves.  Subhan’Allah never had I experienced Makkah with such a beautifully cool (borderline cold) active breeze like that.  Quite refreshing alhamdulilah.  Nearly cried when walking back towards the hotel for our bags after Jummuah though. I get this feeling that everytime I go there it could very well be my last time under the Arsh of Allah..and it scares me. But especially when Sign (again) asked:  “Mama, you say when we go to Makkah it’s because Allah is inviting us, so when we leave is it because He’s asking us to leave?” I told her it’s just Him planning our time, and our time is up..for now and hopefully not forever!” Yeah, masha’Allah she’s been full of comments lately!! 

On a different note though we saw the monkeys again!  The past few times we’ve gone, we see the monkeys playing on the highway, and the sides.  Often a couple of cars are parked to interact with them, we’ve meant too  but we always miss them by going too fast to actually stop.  Hmm, I wonder if there were monkeys back in the days of Rasullilah, alayhee salat wa salaam’s hijrah??  There is a theory about the history of these monkeys I’ve heard but for the sake of not offending anyone I’ll keep them to myself!

My kids are my life, and my deen is what keeps me balanced..and when I feel out of whack like this I can’t help but think its a deficiency of my relationship with Allah.  There are so many Muslims across the world that are better than me, more deserving, so when people say I am blessed to be living in Madinah Munawarra, I have to say it reminds me of my duties that are hanging on my neck.  I don’t know, but because Allah is the Most Fair, al-Adl,  it seems that by being here, my soul has actually been given a bigger responsibility than maybe most other Muslims towards doing the right thing.  One of my fears of being here in Madinah is that I may come to take this place for granted, but when Allah sends me to Makkah Mukarrama, it is a rejuvenator, a cleanser of my niyya’…Allah knows best..

 We made a stop in Jeddah on the way back so my husband could apply for a family visit visa for my mother (please join me in making duaa for her, she is sick, and I’m the other side of the globe from her and this is my only way to help her to make beg Allah to cure her of her asthma-jazakALlah kheir).  Jeddah is sooo different than Madinah.  It reminds me so much of my upbringing home, Boston.  They have the ritzy hotels, exquisite malls and stores..and although we only went into IKEA for a stroll it was pretty cool because it was a little piece of the West right here in Saudi.  There was a Chuckee Cheese there too that was sort of like a mall, mashaAllah. Kids obviously won and we went there for some fun.  It was the morning though like 10:30ish..and here no one is awake then. So they had the rides and fun all to themselves, mashaAllah. I assume after Isha it’s packed. But the best thing about Jeddah was a 30 minute stop we made by a river where the kids were playing in the sand.  Never had I seen a Masjid on a beach, let alone listening to Adhan al-Duhr surrounded by Allah’s beautiful creations of seagull.  There were a few men working there, cleaning and at the shop, but they left for salah along with my husband mashaAllah.  I then let the sun hit my face with the warm breeze as they were making sandcastles and such. This was Allah giving us a piece pure uncorrupted sweetness of donia…making me more eager for becoming a Jannati…(ya Rabb!).   

Prior to our trip, I met up with a dear friend who is the owner of this store/resourceful site geared towards reviving the Sunnah of health, particularly hijama: http://healthmeanswealth.co.uk. On and off she has taught me about hijama, you know cupping.  So ignorant to what it was, I began reading up on it..Last week I met up with her and I got it done.  A very light and dry hijama, but hijama it was!  InshaAllah I’ll have to post more about it later inshaAllah when I go for the wet hijama.  So much benefit  as claimed in the homeopathy medical field, used for thousands of years in the eastern world, and my favorite reason to learn more about it…it’s Sunnah, and with Sunnah..you can’t go wrong inshaAllah!

About the happenings at Masjid an-Nabi, I have a phone number, so jot it down starting with the country code: (966) 04-823-2400.  Good to use for Umrah planning too I guess, because you can ask them questions on the hours for Rawdah, or whatever the current events and timings are. Finally, a year later I got it and inshaAllah from a dear sister..inshaAllah I hope to make a page with all the important numbers of Madinah somewhere on this blog for anyone’s interest, because getting info on Madinah if you’re not here can be very difficult.  Anyways, I used it to gain info about the Quran tajweed circles for my girls. InshaAllah in a week we hope to start heading there 4 nights a week between Maghrib and Isha for their classes. That’s if there’s room for them because I guess they are lacking qualified teachers these days for their halaqas where normally that hasn’t been a problem in the past. Allah knows best.  My son on the other hand, who isn’t 5 yet can’t be registered, too young.  But on the woman’s side of the Haram they have classes for boys 5 to 6 years old.  Nothing for them younger, and if older than 6 then they have to be studying the Book of Allah in the brother’s section. 

Which reminds me, we were walking in the other night and mashaAllah lots of space now that the hujjaj are gone and no one is here on an Umrah visa yet, the female guard on the right told me that he’s too old and needs to be with his father! I said “What?? him?!!..he’s 4!!” Subhan’Allah..people here..(ok, no gossip) The guard on our left said, “yeah..he’s young!” (arabic ofcourse)..backing me. We walked in without problems and I had to remind my little sheikh that he’s growing too fast, masha’Allah. He usually goes with his baba anyway..but we were going to be there a little longer than usual, so I insisted he come with me. Alhamdulilah. Modesty here can not be overtold…it is everywhere and with everything.  This is the religion, this is the culture, but I can’t deny that sometimes it is a little beyond necessary..beyond deen.  I have seen boys as young as 7 not allowed to enter the Haram with their moms, and my own daughter who was 7 was not allowed to enter with my husband. Entrance into Masjid an-Nabawi is actually more of a process with checking the bags, asking to surrender cameras, gender segregation, foods and the like than entering Masjid al-Haram in Makkah…even during these slow days.  Kheir inshaAllah. 

Today my husband went with some of his colleagues to the Quran Printing Complex. I don’t have the site bookmarked but I can get it later and add it that page I’d like to complete inshaAllah.  Last year when my mother visited, it was only 3 months into my new life here, they denied my mother and I from entering.  No women allowed, only around hajj time and by large group appointments apparantly, hmm..whatever. I blow these situations off because if I dwell I’ll get ticked and the beauty here in Madinah outweighs the culural flaws of Saudi society. Alhamdulilah.  Anyways, as I was saying..my husband told me that there was a Quran being sold for a ridiculous amount of 1875.oo riyals?! Quran is priceless and I guess what made this so expensive was the gold ink and whatever else you can imagine.  There’s got to be a fatwa against that somewhere!! To be fair though, the Complex is responsible for printing and distributing Qurans all across the world, even Braille..which ofcourse I as an OT, alhamdulilah would totally advocate for.  He also told me there was like a 3 foot Quran for about 60 riyals.  I actually think it would be helpful to have something like this around for teaching the kids arabic, and within a sensory approach to learning Ayat Allah. Various languages obviously.  I like the color coded Tajweed though and my husband told me most of those are made in Syria, but with the large fonts it wouldn’t be so difficult I guess. We’ll see inshaAllah.

Another thing we did recently was head off to the Darussalam bookshop.  I had to force myself not to buy more.  Mahsa’Allah, really great books.  I bought a planner that has ayat on every page in Arabic and English, surprisingly cheap.  One thing I was about to pick up, but then didn’t is a Children’s Encyclopedia on Islam.  Pics of ancient ruins with stories from the Quran..but they got enough and I already need to finish up a few books here with them (and myself) before I get anymore.  Although I don’t think I can be that strong against the temptation next time inshaAllah!

I think I got more personal than I usually do here at “Luminosity” in this post, but at the same time, I hope to show some of the richness of what its like here in Madinah Munawarra. Forgive me if I’ve said anything in error, my intention was just to portray some clips of my life while hopefully encouraging others to have hope in Allah’s Mercy and Fearing His Wrath..a balance I try to find and maintain evey moment (or at least I should)…may Allah help us all find that balance. AMEEN.

…and Allah Knows Best.

Asalaam Alaikum wa’Rahmat Allah wa’Barakatu, wa’Salaam wa’salaat ala Rasullilah…. 

One of my favorite things to do here in Madinah is go to Jarir Bookstore. It’s in a tall and wide, mall like building to the side of Masjid Qiblatain, and there are about 17 of them throughout Saudi with other showrooms in Qatar, U.A.E, & Kuwait.  I am reminded by Barnes & Nobles and Borders Bookshops that are back in the States.  Although I don’t get to go too often, when I do I am grateful towards Allah for allowing me to leave Jarir with a few good books for myself and the kids.  There are various displays of topics on books and magazines from raising children to geography, to what my heart seems to be attracted towards the most, the  English Islamic Section.  If it were my way, I could easily spend a few hours there just browsing, but that is my mind…not my time with 4 children who believe its party time with all the “educational” toys around, and a husband who needs to leave quickly before the next Adhaan. Alhamdulilah. There are actually many bookstores here in Madinah, masha’Allah. People have told us that Jarir tends to be more pricey than others, so we still have to do some exploring insha’Allah.  The small bookshops right by the Haram can be more expensive too, though these excite me as well because I tend to see new books that I can indulge in with my children. 

Before we moved here almost exactly a year ago (don’t even ask me how that happened, subhan’Allah..I still feel so new here and time is certainly being swept under our feet), I would often order Islamic materials from Noorart, Astrolabe, and Islamic Bookstore because no where in Ma. that I knew of had a really good selection of Islamic books for adults and kids.  (actually, when I was back over the summer, I couldn’t resist and ordered a few books for the kids Islamic curriculum I’m working on with them here as a necessary supplement to what they get at the private arabic school here in Madinah.) The rare bookfairs at my daughter’s Islamic school when she was younger, and at the Islamic Center in Boston would catch my attention, and if one seemed even remotely interested I’d buy it in hopes that I would learn a thing or two and pass the knowledge along to my kids.  Lately, I’ve been looking at our humble library here in our homeschool room and thinking I real need to kick up the gears and get more structured about relating all these beautiful stories to my kids from the Quran & Sunnah, or I’ll be held responsible, big-time, by our Creator. May Allah forbid that.

 Anyways, the other day at Jarir I bought a book called Women Around the Messenger by Muhammad ‘Ali Qutb & published by International Islamic Publishing House. Click on this easy read, because I encourage any Muslimah or brother to get a copy and get educated or at least inspired insha’Allah. This seems to be the best book I’ve ever had my hands on describing the earliest female believers dispelling misconceptions of the so-called ‘weaker gender’ and true as it claims, focusses on bringing vivid biographies of the first generation of Muslim women showing how their participation was vital for the development of their society and Muslim Ummah right from the start.

While I’m on break, meaning when the kids are all down to sleep, I love to have Huda on. English speaking Muslims are the target audience and many sisters & brothers from countries like Canada, Nigeria, Sudan, Cyprus call in to ask questions live amongst other ‘Islamic’ (italicized for a reason!) countries, although Although may be seen in the US, its definantly not well-known and I never had this advantage of turning on the tv casually to learn about Allah’s prescribed way of life, this itself is a way for me to reflect and really think and at times ‘Huda’ is over to babysit the kids while I get a shower. Saudi is the fiancer of it, even though it is broadcasted primarily from Egypt. With Huda, I know that tv is always safe for the kids.  But soon after my self care is over, my oldest, ‘Sign’ will come report what she’s learned or ask what a sheikh said to a caller inquring about whatever. It’s the one channel I honestly never question in terms of its presentation of material. The commercials are geared at relating hadith, or teaching correct pronuciation of arabic letters. When my kids see children from the West or anywhere really, reciting Quran, they are motivated to do better with their Quran tutor. When cartoons are on they are always beneficial as they display the stories from the Quran & Sunnah, or manners of children as they should be in a fun way that attracts their attention, there is a cute song of the Islamic months that the kids are picking up from Huda too. Unlike me, who recently learned the order of months on the Islamic calanadar. This is a simple proof of how weak in knowledge I am and how I pray that my children will over-exceed me in deeds & knowledge (Ameen).  May Allah help  Huda TV continue with their success, and enlighten our hearts with education that benefits our iman. OH, you can watch it live on their website too so click above and make it a source of light in your home.

Having said all that, as I was growing up, reading was not my thing. I liked to skim through magazines, and I was very visual in that if a book didn’t have pictures, I would reluctantly pick it up due to a book report being due or something to that affect.  I  think perhaps it was a combination of factors that led to this decreased interest.   I always struggled a bit more in school than most other kids, I understood the material slower than them and I was always of the last students to finish a test.  I had to work harder to get the grades while others didn’t seem to put half as much effort.  My parents always told me that nothing was more important than a good education.  When my dad sat with me to review kinetic vs. potential energy..well, mashaAllah he made me run up and down the hill of our front yard to show it to me..no sitting was involved!  When it came to memorize the multiplication table, both my mom would hear no excuse that it was “too much”.  As I got older, graduated from high school and went off to college I began studying what I wanted too, and reading became less of a nuissance, so much so that I fell in love with it. I could choose what to read and reflect.  My personal library of Islam and Occupational Therapy grew and grew (and are still growing, more than a decade later alhamdulilah). So here I am with all these books, and I am hoping that my children will grow loving to read more than I did.  Daily, if they get there arabic homework and Quran done, do some homeschooling, then they get to listen to a story from the Quran. we are working on Seerah of our Anbiyaa and just finished the stories of Yaqub & Yusuf alayhee salaam.  They really wanted to get into the story of Musa alahee salaam which we just finished a few nights ago alhamdulilah.  I wanted to backtrack and start from Adam alayhee salaam next.  But every time we hit the road and drive by Jabal Uhud, gravesite of Shuhada Uhud, or even recently when we drove through Badr, my husband reminds me to shed light on our children with these stories.  So last night I after asking the kids, they unanimously voted on learning the seerah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad, sal Allahu alayhee wa’salaam.  My idea of starting from the beginning of humanity got tossed out the window. :-) We have spent much time on just the 3 prophets I mentioned above, so I imagine the explaining the life of Rasullilah (alayhee salaat wasalaam) is going to take probably close to a month inshaAllah. I usually sit with them for about 30 minutes, sometimes less. I’m also using from various books I have of which some are age appropriate and some are more at adult reading level.  But because my kids range from 2-8 I try my best to make an outline of points before beginning to make sure I am able to help facilitate there imagination without losing them.  But even with that, it is still not always easy to get the story across, but so far alhamdulilah Allah has indeed facilitated ease.  Subhan’Allah, funny, because I overheard my 4 year old son ‘Believer’ telling his little sister the story of Musa, alayhee aslaam and how he had a brother just like she has a brother! Ofcourse, no khutbah of his would really work without his older sisters microphone whic is cooler than his Masha’Allah taBarak’Allah.  May Allah preserve my children’s fitrah and the fitrah of Muslim children everywhere.  We certainly need a generation of leaders who fear no one but Allah, and live there lives to please Him. May Allah help us parents encourage the best in our kids. AMEEN. Certainly these words are towards myself (hmm, speaking of which, a duaa request for patience is also needed!) Since, then we’ve started on a good start I feel like I need to explain the Hereafter to them more too. So much stuff to know that I would like them to soak in thoughts about before they become teenagers inshaAllah and so tonight I began teaching them about our second life.  The much juice to the words I can find that are authentically reported in ahadeeth and Quran, I use.  Some may think I’m crazy teaching my 4 year old about death, about the details of the grave, and of the blazing Jahannam.  But there has to be balance, and so the beauty of Jannah is something I want them to crave even at this young age too.  If they are exposed to what Salasabeel might be, or thoughts of eating the sweetest of sweets whenever they please as they have rivers of milk and honey in their own yards that contains endless rainbows as their slides then perhaps they will taste the sweetness of faith itself and reflect on these images in their minds before they make a decision that may determine their fate in our permanent home, al-Akhira.  Ya Allah, ar-Rahman, You are the Witness to what I say, please give us Jannah and overlook our faults.  We are in need of that. Which reminds me, All praises belong to ALLAH for the release of Imam Anwar Al-Awlaki.

You know though, there is an ironic feeling within me. Because the more I teach them, the more I feel like I am not teaching them enough.  Time, effort, and the over abundance of knowledge that I want them to attain overwhelms me sometimes, actually most of the time.  When I see kids having had the whole Quran memorized at a young age, or when I read about kids just like them who have grown up into scholars filled with wisdom along with love for Allah, I have to step back and think of all the time I let them waste and negative influences I allow them to have, and unfortunatley I can be one of them.  May Allah forgive me.  I don’t push myself in doing more for these kids as they deserve, and at the same time I have high expectations for them.  This is why my duaa to Allah is that I don’t mess them up any way by spoling their fitrah with donia that leaves us fruitless in the akhira.  As a mom this is probably my biggest jihad, no..actually it definantly is. 

Fortunately though, the barakah of living here in Madinah does not let me forget the proper upbringing of kids and having been here for a year minus a few days has given me space to reprioritize my roles and responsibilities towards my children.  There are many things I miss from back in the US, like driving to McDonalds for the kids to play in the playcenter; or going to OldNavy to just browse when the kids are busy with their grandparents; and even going for a walk outside with evergreens everywhere and dragonflies buzzing as the kids chase them.  I also miss on a personal and professional level working in nursing homes, hospitals and schools every now and then and meeting the diversity of people of whom I thought that maybe they would look at Islam a little differently after having met me. I can hope, and I did. 

But actually,  here in Madinah things are different but the same.  The kids still play, I still shop, and we still walk, my love for diverse people is consistent and ..but the flavor of these things are different.  That flavor is where the barakah awaits I think.  Because when grass is walked upon here, we appreciate that, and when we shop we don’t waste time (not as much anyway-even though i didnt always have the luxury of time there either) probably because to stroll in malls or parks will only happen with my husband with us too.  I, unlike many women living here in Saudi, don’t have a driver, and this is looked at as sort of weird…as something foreign.  To jump into a taxi isn’t easy with 4 children and neither I nor my husband would like that anyway because of safety. (Yes Madinah its the most magnificient place of peace, but its still not Jannah).  Adhan is heard, everyone is dressed within the code, Allah’s code, and there is the most suitable place when we all need a break from the daily grind, even the kids, the Haram.  At Masjid an-Nabawi, all the things I miss from back in the US are actually right there.  Diversity of Muslim flavor is there, the courtyard for the kid to be kids is there, elderly women are there for me to help get ZamZam, and the generosity of the people is pretty cool, masha’Allah..the mall and shops are all around.  Can’t have everything though, so no site of grass around that’s ok though, i’ll deal alhamdulilah. 

So although sacrifices were made and we left many beautiful things to the eye in the US, here in Madinah we gained many beautiful things for the soul. I am not trying to undermine the challenge of making hijrah here, but I must be fair that through the difficulty the greatest was not giving up my right to drive, but giving up the chance to visit with my parents, family whenever I felt like it.  All in all though, Allah has also delivered ease. Alhamdulilah. Alhamdulilah for Vonage too!

Another of the blessings, is knowledge…the pursuit of it here is just more focussed for me (although increased focus is an ongoing objective of mine) and with increased knowledge comes increased reflection on Allah’s Signs…whichever topic I study or whichever subject the kids are working on, and whichever book I pick up next inshaAllah.  Living 5 minutes from Masjid Quba where oned can perform deeds equivalent to an Umrah and follow the Sunnah of attending on Saturdays, never could hurt a Muslim either. may Allah just accept it, because without His rewards these deeds could be held against us instead of for us. May Allah forbid that from happening.  I read somewhere that the Companions would worry if they would be considered hypocrites in certain situations because they acknowledged that Allah knows their hearts more than they knew themselves.  I am no companion! But I understand that point and am reminded, perhaps by the appointed angel that is near me, that in Allah we have to aim for a balance of hope and fear in Him, you know…Taqwa. 

Let me clarify a misconception of knowledge and education here even in Madinah Munawarra.  Wherever people are there is exposure to education, whether through books, experiencing the culture, rejecting or adapting social standards.  The schools here in Madinah, and I speak of the elementary level schools are good, but not balanced.  I have only seen a number of them when we thought putting our girls in one might be a good idea. Because of the extreme modesty factor here, my husband was unable to enter any of them with me to check them out.  Schools I saw fell into 2 categories: Saudi Private, and international.  They were either teaching excessive things that I wished not for my kids like the Indian International school has Urdu as mandatory subject, and the other which seems pretty much Egyptian run has French on the curriculum as a daily subject yet religion was only twice a week.  Then there were the Saudi private schools who follow the National Curriculum here but each has its own style.  One seemed to have teachers who didn’t seem interested in the kids, while another seemed more caring but lacked other subjects I feel are important like gym class and arts.  Then we came across one that my children are in now.  It offers all the courses I would like them to take,  they have computer, gym, and art plus they have Quran 7x/s week while the teachers seem to highly qualified and are receptive to overstrung parents who like to call and meet up every so often *ahem, me .

There have been problems, and still are with the kids adjusting to this environment.  Because everything is in Arabic with the obvious exception of English class (taught as a 2nd language) the other Saudi girls get a kick out of this and have seen my girls as easy targets to pick on.  Before I came here a year ago, I had this idea that kids here were more disciplined than children in the US.  Umm, WRONG!  You would think so because in Islam we are taught beahaviors and coping skills in situations. Unfortunately, the kids here tend to lack the social skills needed for good communication and positive friendships.  Anyways, so I am teaching my children to be grateful in being different.  I guess as I would if we were still in the US..but on a slightly adapted take. So although our goal, mine and their father, in sending them rather than just homeschooling was so they would acheive Arabic and Quran (because we knew the other subjects are lacking in subtance and are frankly just below their educational level), they are learning how to deal with bullies, others who lie and coming across situations that they have to deal without me around.  They get back and I get all the gossip..which I am pointing out to them too what is gossip and what is not, and I try to listen to them so that I can guide them in fostering that beautiful difference between them and their peers, what is ok by Allah and what just isn’t cool even if everyone else says it is.   My daughter who wears a Cochlear Implant is indeed an anomaly alhamdulilah and she faces challenges of mainstreaming in a culture and in a school that thinks those things on her ears are a type of radio or jewelry.  While my other reserved daughter is learning how to stand up for herself with confidence and courage.  They are both overcoming their specifically designed challenges with the strength of Allah as their Best Friend, and by the assistance and Mercy of their Creator.  Trials filled with blessings alhamdulilah.  Ahh, peer pressure..some of the stepping stones that every child and even adult faces.

 As far as how Islam is taught, well ofcourse its taught.  Duaa is made, expressions for the love of Allah and Rasullilah alayhee salaam are there, methods in learning proper wudu and facts about Ramadan and Hajj were given.  But our humble homeschooling efforts has to go on in Islam as well. You know when things are done by default, it gets sort of boring if there is no effort.  I feel like the school teaches them Islam but doesn’t get them really excited about it.  Plus there is so much other information that they can learn i think that is not in the Saudi curriculum.  So I homeschool Math, English Reading & Writing, Science, and Islam.  Alhamdulilah they have a Quran/Arabic tutor (also mine) who also helps out with the Arabic, and their father overseas my older daughter’s homework.  We are also using of Calvert, which I always try to highlight things in an Islamic point of view and negate which does not benefit.  In Science, ayat are brought to scene, and adding Islamic chapter books that are age appropriate I think creates a good balance of stories in their minds of those who are Muslim and those who are not.  Hoping this will cause them to see a commonality of humanity in general.  As far as what does not benefit for example, my 3rd grader has a subject on Greek Mythology that came with her curriculum.  Are you kidding me?! I am not going to stress the details of all their idols and practices to her when I have sooooo much else to address with her in light of the Quran and Sunnah.  Between teaching Asma Husna, Tafsir, Depicting the details of Jannah & Jahannam, explaining world history from the beginning of time and even the geography and sciences that Allah has defined and ofcourse Seerah.  Through just these Islamic topics she is exposed to the ways of the Mushriqeen, Munafiqeen, the Kuffar and their ways of disobeying Allah and relationship with the Mumineen, Mutaqeen, al-Muslimeen.  If they can understand that only Deen al-Haqq, Islam, had been introduced by all the Rusul and Anbiyaa of Allah, then they will be able to know insha’Allah what is the truth and distinguish what is false.  If the details of an idol, or the details of how they were worshipped is necessary to comprehend an issue with a Prophet or a situation mentioned in Quran then there is a valid need to know these points.  They have been taught about the Egyptians ways in accordance to the beautiful stories of the Quran as well as the People of Thamud & even the controversial issues of Prophet Lut alayhee salaam.  Even current issues of Buddhism and the life of the Hindus has been brushed on because of their interaction with those people back in the States. 

More than that we also use Ad-Duha, an English Islamic curriculum you can order (also Arabic as a second language curriculum), and wonderful resources sold there along with a bunch of other little things here and there.  There are hifz schools everywhere here in Madinah for women and children but our tutor suffices us for now alhamdulilah. Although I was hoping to have been done with at least of what I had planned for the academic year by now, I still have a ways to go inshaAllah before I hit the 1/2 way mark. I don’t have the luxury of time to head off to the several halaqahs made for women at the Haram and plenty in every neighborhood really.  Sisters from various countries, including Saudi have often called me to get together for this or for that, and have implied they’d like to come and visit.  There are numerous opportunities to learn here, masha’Allah.  But finding them isn’t always the easiest.  It’s not like you can log on and find the nearest Hifz school, or the exact time of the Halaqas at the even the Haram by picking up the phone.  Things don’t work like that here.  Information of the beautiful sources are attained by self-discovery and word of mouth really.   My guess is that 5 years from now, and Allah Knows Best that Madinah insha’Allah may be more advanced in its services with more libraries, better schools, and more qualified personnel at institutions like hospitals, and more day-care centers (only 1 or 2 now I think) and alhamdulilah slowly but surely it seems to be happening now.   Insha’Allah, that is what I make duaa for anyway.   

I’ve read there is a library here with hours for women and kids too that I’d eventually like to check out, and I know there are many online courses one can take.  But the truth is, I do self-learning through books, which I know is not even enough.  My life really just revolves around a few activities that eats at my time, but reading something here and there gives me a sense of balance especially when I feel like I need to get my mind off the daily grind, which is quite often! In between teaching lessons, potty training, clearning the sink and getting breakfast on the table at fajr every morning, a few words tend to motivate me to serve Allah much more than I do, and reminds me to focus on intention rather than just another pain ‘in the you know what’ , kind of job!  The skills I learned in Occupational Therapy and my services towards the disabled, impaired, and handicapped have been appointed by Allah to condition my heart in helping others..so that I can indeed help my family and myself.  Don’t we all need help?!

May Allah increase us all in knowledge with pure intentions to seek His Pleasure and hope that He will soften our hearts as a result and send us all to Jannah, Firdous prefably !! :-) Ameen.

….and Allah Knows best.

“It is only those who have knowledge among His servants that fear Allah.” {Qur’an, 35:28}

I knew by coming here to Madinah Munawarra I’d learn a few things from the people here, particularly my sisters in Islam.  Back in the US, I felt a responsibility to teach others as much as I could about what this Deen is and what it is not. Because Islam is what makes total sense to me, I desired to make it make sense to others…not so they would accept me, but so they could so Islam for what it really is, and not what the West often claims of it.  But being here is different. Everyone knows Islam, at least in a strong cultural sense.  Ironically though, it’s that strong cultural sense that I am not always comfortable with.  Islam as a culture is something I am still trying to become accustomed too. It’s actually a wonderful thing, for the most part, but having lived here nearly 4 months is insignificant cultural experience in comparison to women who’ve known no other life outside of Saudi, particularly Madinah.  There are a few things that I question: “Is this culture? Or is this religion?” These puzzling issues further convince me that after all these years of self-learning I am still ignorant of many issues.  It further reminds me that the quest for seeking knowledge, and the thirst for reading and researching should be within me until Allah wills for my death.  This is why I get so giddy at the many bookstores here in Madinah. If it’s not new material, then it’s a different approach of presented material that gets my memory intact of something I’ve read before, or ignites more questions for me to find answers for.  Having said all that, there are many cultural things that are not part of Islam and are made to seem Islamic..because Islam is the norm here so people think they are following a Sunnah when in fact it’s a twisted way of justifying an action. 

On this blog, and on my other, Stance of a Muslimah, http://stanceofamuslimah.blogspot.com I’ve tried holding back in revealing the mistakes of other Muslims as we should speak of good and not expose the negativities (in fear of promoting the lure of fitna-corruption). So I will not get into details.  Plus, there is so much good here in Madinah that it easily hides what is not.  But Shaitan will never stop his wass’wassa in pointing out the faults of beautiful people, placers and things.  Back in the US, and I presume in the West in general, there are things that are definantly more Islamic in nature and style than here even in the blessed city of Madinah Munawarra.  For instance, the respect for time, organization, and even some regulations are a few.  However, there are exclusive privileges here that can not be found anywhere else in the world related in True Islamic Shariah. In contrast though, people in the US are there own people. Meaning, the concept of “wasta” is pretty much absent, openly anyway. “Wasta” by definition means “through connections”. While here it is a major determining factor in some issues, and the people here do not see a need to “hide” it for the most part too.  Maybe it’s because to access information about a store, services, or even schools the best way to do it here is through word of mouth. Yellow pages exists, and obviously the Internet is up and running, but the information is still limited. For example, my husband bought the phone book for 35 riyals and it wasn’t easy for him to find it.  But back in the US, they always threw one in our mailbox or on our lawn at least once a year it seemed. It doesn’t even have addresses of locations, just names and numbers with a few advertisements.  In terms of the internet, before I moved here I tried searching so much to prepare myself for living in Madinah. Subhan’Allah, I would often come up with the Hijrah story of Prophet Muhammad (sal’Allahu’alayhee wa’salam). All good ofcourse, but not what I was looking for in regards to present day communal life of women here.  So to a certain extent it makes sense that “wasta” be connected to a society that has not mastered the ease of gaining information by a few finger strokes on the keyboard. Added to the fact that people here are generally very kind, so once they open up they are willing to help out in however they can.  For example, my husband used to tell me back in states that some of his students would arrogantly approach him because they wanted a higher grade on an exam, ask for extra credit..and sometimes would remind him that they pay his salary through their tuition. Maybe things said like these were partly in due to the New England area of the US where people are stereotyped in being cold. Yet here in Madinah, students wanting the same thing, a higher grade or whatever approach him, but they approach him using words and gestures of Islamic brotherhood saying: “Masha’Allah, you are truly a fair professor, barakAllah feek, but could you kindly reconsider these grades?” I got a good laugh when he related this to me the other day. Same issue, different approach!

Actually, this same-‘story-different presentation’-is sort of like what I am dealing with here in Madinah when it comes to practice of Islam.  There have been a few things here I’ve noticed with women here that are in contrary to what I have always done in regards to practice of seeking knowledge.  1. In the Tajweed classes women don’t always wear hijab-where I was brought up to always wear the hijab and dress modestly when reading from the Quran even when I wasn’t considered a “hijabi”, and even when no one else was around 2. Women who are menstruating wear gloves when touching the Quran-where I would read Quran on the Internet or listen too rather than open up the actual book, because wudu in my understanding was a must 3. When an ayah is recited that indicates Sujood, it is not done in Tajweed or Arabic classes-although whenever an ayah as such was recited even in the car, my head and the heads around me would go down to indicate sujood to Allah.  There are other things too, that insha’Allah I’ll mention later about the way women are here, how they are treated and what is it they do, but that’s a whole other post (but for the record, they aren’t as different as you may think). 

Growing up these were logical things, and I never really had a reason to question why a woman who is not to pray during her menses by the order of Allah (and through His Mercy), shouldn’t also hold while reading the Quran, or dress modestly as ordained that sisters should.  So I got to thinking, and more reflecting while trying to find out what is what about this. Probably what instigated this in me was when my menses came I stopped going to the Tajweed classes, when I returned all the sisters seemed to tell me no problem just throw a pair of gloves on and I’d be all set to touch IT. Hmmm? But, even though my hands were clean, I was still in my monthly phase of purification and I knew I couldn’t pray because of that. So if it was allowed for me to touch the Quran in the first place, then wearing gloves didn’t make sense to me because I am one to use soap, water and antibacterial! So then what was it about the glove that would make me more able to touch the Quran? I just didn’t get it. Witnessing the Saudi women here covering their hands while holding Quran made no sense to me.  But I tried to understand and this is what I came up with:  http://www.irfi.org/articles/articles_151_200/touching_the_quran.htm  “In Sahih Muslim the Hadith about when Aisha (RA) was sent, by the Prophet (SAW), to go into the Masjid to get a mat. The Prophet (SAW) said to Aisha (RA), “Menstruation is not in your hands.” A woman’s touch cannot be considered impure even while on menses.“The messenger of Allah (SAW) said to me:  Get me the mat from the mosque.  I said:  I am menstruating.  Upon this he remarked:  Your menstruation is not in your hands.”  (Sahih Muslim)”

 So according to the site above, and also www.themuslimwomen.com the belief is that “there is NO evidence whatsoever that says that a woman who is in her periods or a woman who is having post-natal bleeding that she can not touch the Quran. This is a minority opinion, however it is the strongest opinion.”  The issue with women who are menstruating and post-partum is that they don’t have that choice of being totally 100% clean, so out of Allah’s Mercy according to the majority of scholars it’s permissible..and this is what makes sense to me…finally. They also use the reason of women who are memorizing Quran, studying it, or reflecting upon it as a means of seeking knowledge that if a woman refrains from the touching the Quran then she could easily refrain from reading it and therefore this may be a difficulty imposed on her memory when it comes to recitation. It could also inhibit her from seeking Allah’s Wisdom.  This is actually where I fall in. Because my mind is in a million places at once it seems between home and family, that it would surely be a hardship on my ability to learn to read Arabic with Tajweed, of Allah’s Words, if I am excused from them 6 days out of the month.  Good to know too, because during Ramadan it will be easier to complete the reading of the entire Quran insha’Allah (even though it may still be in English this year). Allah knows best.  Another thing is that not everyone in the world has access to the Internet, or a pocket PC to read Quran without touching the actual Book, and the internet was not always around.

Let me backtrack for a second, because I don’t want to be misunderstood. Allah loves cleanliness and those who are clean. Eman is dependent on factors and a sign of eman is purity.  This is a basic in Islam.  All of what has been said above does not mean that one should not have wudu if able.  In Quran, Allah, subhana’wa’ta’ala, tells us:

And in Sahih Muslim, Rasullilah (sal’Allahu’alayhee wa’salam) has taught us that:

“Cleanliness is half of faith…”

So although to be clean is better and purity is loved what is judged and what matters most is a pure heart, clean conscious, and love for Allah more than anyone and anything else.  Allah knows our inability to maintain this during these essential days every month, and so will judge us according to our intention Allah is the Most Fair and the Most Wise and to Him we will all answer.Enough about that, now I want to share with you something else I just learned from the young sister who comes to our home 5 mornings a week teach my children and I the rules of Arabic grammar and Quran memorization as it relates to Tajweed. She said that people learning the proper articulation skills of recitation into 3 categories: 1. Visual learners: highly rely on the color coded pronunciation marks of a physical Quran they follow and rely on one copy of the Quran for that purpose rather than various copies; 2. Auditory learners: More dependence on discrimination of sound through intense attention to the differences within every letter of an ayah listening skills; and 3. Reflective learners: Understanding of ayat as it relates to the formation of words giving meaning to the accurate recitation.  Not really sure which I fall in yet, but clearly, my children are not all in the same and it reinforces the fact that everyone learns at a different pace with a different style!  But I would think it’s crucial that we have an idea of what an ayah means too because it will cause reflection and soften the heart more insha’Allah rather than reciting words that doesn’t make any sense.

“Verily We have created man into toil and struggle… Have We not made for him a pair of eyes; and a tongue, and a pair of lips; and shown him the two ways (obedience and disobedience)?”

(Qur’an, Al-Balad 90:4-10)

This ayah above, reminds me that we should use what we are being tested with (our senses, reflection, and understanding of how things even work in this world) to gain as much knowledge as we can using every means as a step of attaining and motivating ourselves and each other towards righteousness. Especially with kids it becomes more beneficial to utilize a sensory approach to learning the meaning of Quran (and Islam in general).  As we do this we are able to nourish an intrinsic craving desire in each of our children to always seek knowledge from the best of all sources: Al-Quran Al-Kareem.

“And say: My Lord increase me in knowledge.”

(Qur’an, Ta-Ha 20:114)

When Allah gives us descriptions of al-Barzakh, Jannah, Jahanaam or the life of this donia we should be as detailed as possible and encourage our kids to make things with play-dough, paint, or act out scenes of the Day of Judgement encompassing them in all sorts of tactile or physical play. Use words like “Boss” when explaining what the meaning of Allah’s Name al-Malik is and make songs out of with cute tuneslike: “You’re not the boss of me, you’re not the boss of me, but Al-Malik is the Boss of me!” Particularly when done in context with siblings are being too bossy towards each other. As they get older the meaning can get deeper and deeper to fit their ability of understanding. From the surah’s or ayat they have memorized you can bring Allah’s Names to life for them. Like if they have Ayat al-Kursi memorized they can easily learn what Allah’s Name; “Al-Aliyy” signifies.  As far as tafsir of simple ayat from the Quran where Allah talks about His Creation of the Sun and Moon, or even Space and the Bee they can look up pictures and animations on the internet with your voice as the background reminding them of the beauties and wonders of Allah’s creations. Allah has blessed our time with phenomenal technology in accessing information. So we should all use it (if at our means).  Not just that, but reward your kids with something special of this donia is a great motivator for them and a reminder that insha’Allah a better gift will await them in Jannah…(ya’ Allah). Recitation for our kids works well when too with a microphone. We had one that works, but now we have a plastic one that isn’t even battery operated we got at Target before we left the US.  Then there are all sorts of websites on the net for kids to practice Quran with Tajweed..and for adults as well. This is the site we use daily, Quranic Sciences, found at: color=”#800080″>www.quranicsciences.com. Masha’Allah..it is a blessing from Allah. It’s really nice because you have a variety of imams to listen too, and you can listen to an ayah over and over again, also there is a section that will break up parts of an ayah to read and listen to repeatedly as well which is so useful for my daughter with a hearing loss..and even for the rest of us.  One more thing, every kid should actually hold the Quran (with respect obvously, but this can really be taught at an early age too) and regardless if they have letter recognition or not, they should pretend to read from the Quran with what they have memorized. My daughter who is not reading Arabic yet..and only knows a few surahs is now starting to pick out the letters she does know, and can go to whichever surah she’s memorized independently without having to find the surah for her.  Arts and Crafts, maybe a few minutes before too will help them get focused on Quran.  Have them make paper bracelets to wear while reading or reciting; make a telescope out of a toilet paper roll to search for letters in an ayah; have them tally mark how many times Allah says a particular word in a surah with special markers, or even using hand gestures to extentuate certain points made by Allah in Quran, sort of like how an orchestra leader would-but in a playful manner to get the kids enthused about elongation of sounds or putting emphasis on certain syllables. 

 Just to sit down, memorize without understanding, and to be critical of children’s speech doesn’t work here in our home…and in general does not foster a love for the Quran for kids.  Here, in this city of Luminosity, there are many kids who have memorized the whole Quran masha’Allah at a young age..but I hope they would tell you out of the sincerity of their hearts that it truly is their favorite Book.  This is what I hope for my children insha’Allah, that they will never stop the love of learning the Wisdom of Allah through the Greatest Book, al-Quran al-Kareem. (Ameen.) I am learning that it’s all about quality..not quantity. For if my children only memorize one ayah..yet understand it, live by it, teach it, and never give up on it..it would be better for them than to memorize the whole Quran and not practice any of it.  But ofcourse I want them to apply more than just one!! More importantly for them, for me..and for every Muslim I pray that we will always consider these ayat, amongst the rest in the Quran as fundamental necessities in our lives:

“So know that there is no god save Allah, ask forgiveness for your sins and for the believing men and the believing women. Allah knows well your moving and your place of rest.”

{Qur’an, 47:19}

No doubt these words I have presented to you, are tips that I am in the continous process of working on myself…and I am aiming to continue in understanding.  Just sharing information is all.. and making duaa that Allah will help me and the Muslims come closer to Him, because that is the only thing that should really matter and is the relationship that should be nourished the most. May Allah accept your deeds and unite this Ummah in the promised everlasting Jannah for the Mutaqeen, Muhsineen, Mumineen and Muslimeen. Ameen.                                                              

…and ALLAH Knows Best…

asalaam alaikum warahmat Allah wabarakatu:

i began writing this to my personal not virtual muslimah sisters, cuz it’s kind of, well..personal. but then i thought perhaps it will be counted as a “kilma tayyiba” (kind word of encouragement or advice) for other muslimah mom’s raising their kids as pious mumineen insha’Allah). may Allah reward you all..and please don’t forget the pray for the children of this donia whether they are muslim or not to grow up loving Allah more than they love their parents..for surely if they do they will negate the negative qualities of us parents..

http://www.themodernreligion.com/misc/edu/agetolearnquran.html

nice article for all of us mama’s wanting our kids to memorize quran. for me, it’s important for my younger kids just to get the meaning of it..in hopes that when they get older it will make sense to focus on memorization. i hope that we all continue to make quran a part of our lives, not just something we say in our salah..

i have been muslim all my life alhamdulilah, and now at 31,  am really just starting to learn how to actually read for the quran. growing up the emphasis at home and the “sunday school” was just to memorize words i didn’t understand the meanings for. i knew it was a good thing, but didn’t really understand i guess..why, you know? well maybe i did, sort of..but not enough to keep me motivated to do it on my own as a kid without “having to”.

kids have to know why they are memorizing this foreign arabic language that arabic speaking parents in the west don’t even speak (the Fuss’ ha) without really understanding. and if they are able to translate it, what does it mean in their own language “american english”? is the translation using text way above them in terms of grade level or what exactly?

we often tell our kids that the quran is the most special book ever!! but what does that mean to young kids if it doesn’t have pictures when they open it? and what does that mean if they aren’t being told of wonderful stories from it in which they can imagine the colors they wore, texture the food, what “bad people” look like..?

there are great story books out there for kids, but how do we make the quran come to life in their hearts if we don’t utilize the important sensory activites to play it out or real life situations they have experienced to pull from?

kids just have to be kids..they can’t be forced. because to be forced to memorize something without meaning is meaningless. and to be told something is different than being taught something..i find myself telling more at times than teaching, and such as math should be fun, reading not so demaning, well the quran should be too. because we want to develop a love for the quran..not just to tell them the rules of it and that’s it.

another thing, the quran with Allah’s wisdom was revealed in 23 years, most of your kids and my kids aren’t even 10 yet..so if we have more sabr and show them how much we love the quran then, especially when they are young..then inshaAllah it will be a better dowah to them. afterall, doesn’t every little girl and boy want to grow up like their parents? and perhaps that is the scariest thing for me..

so although this is a reminder to all of you..it’s much more a reflection on whats going on with me and a reminder to myself to just chill and believe that with Allah’s Guideance they will be ok inshaAllah. and at the end of the night, when i feel i wasn’t that ideal muslimah infront of them..i just turn to Him and tell Him that there is no way i can raise these kids without Him, impossible..even here in Madinah Munawarra. let’s never forget to teach them how to reflect upon Allah’s Signs…

may Allah grant children hedaya keeping them upon their fitra until they are old enough to combat the fitnah of this donia without you, their mom..with Allah alone they will be insha’Allah.

and Allah Knows Best.