Luminosity

On my recent stay in Makkah, (alhamdulilah) and even during the nightly increase of people, I am currently witnessing at here in Madinah at Masjid an-Nabi, I am experiencing a sound of similarity in humainty through dhikr, salawaat, duaa, with an influx of diversity through dress, language, and gestures.  It seems like everyday there are more and more people pouring in, and the serene environment where my kids could be 20 feet ahead of me without my worries upon them are now officially over!  Many people come here knowing very well that Madinah is a city of peace due to it’s obvious holiness.  Most people here I’d like to think are here for the right reasons, but one can not be overly secure especially with kids well-being.  Keep in mind that although this is a sacred land, a haram, everyone within, unfortunately is not up to par with the identity of an ideal Muslim as one might expect in a place like this.  We all have ‘room for improvement’ and remember that Allah Alone Knows the intention of people’s hearts.  Then there are those who love kids so much but do not put there safety first when pushing them out of the prayer line so they can pray in their spots, or passing out sugar cubes not knowing whether a child is a diabetic or what not.  Many women come here with an over-zeal of emotions and just don’t think before they act, speak or even stare.  They have been invited to this sacred land and become oblivious of the small deeds they should focus on in order to perfect their big deeds, maybe even forgetting that Islam is not just about prayers, supplications and seeking forgiveness with guideance, and need to be reminded that every tiny iddy biddy gesture should be for the sake of Allah, hence: Islam as a way of life. Our Ummah is in so need of Allah’s Help. Allahu Musta’an.     

Masha’Allah, with the increase of population an appreciation develops within for Allah’s Blessings.  Back in the US, I would always get giddy towards meeting a new sister, a revert I mean.  Even though I may have had ‘experience’ as a practicing Muslim longer than them, I looked at them as a motivator and inspiration towards my nafs in loving Islam even more.  It was their newbie eagerness being full-force that seemed to give me the kick I needed (and still need) from time to time (almost all the time!).  It’s sort of like that here,  I mean about living here in Madinah. Alhamdulilah, it is a test filled with blessings.  The thing is, I don’t always appreciate it as I should, nor do I always contemplate the magnitude of this place as I should.  So seeing these visitors who for some, for many, have literally spent their decades of lifesavings on this trip, to be here from all areas of the globe for just a few days and at most a few weeks, jumpstarts my gratitude towards Allah in being a resident of Prophet Muhammad alayhee salat wa’salaam’s City. This further highlights my need for Allah’s Forgiveness for the sins (especially those only He Knows I own), points out how little I do in return towards His Favors, and how ungrateful I am towards the opportunity of purifying my mind, my inner-self, living and growing on the grounds of our role models, and the best of them our Nabi, alayhee salaam.  Only Allah Knows how short my life will last, and how short my life will last living here in Madinatu-Nabi.  Seeing the world surround the sacred ground, increases my desire to know our beloved Prophet Muhammad, alayhee salat wa’salaam even more, and love for him and helps me put things in perspective when trying to get my kids to be his little copycats. May Allah facilitate that forever.                                                       

There are whack things though about this Saudi culture, and there are situations that have come up that  I have been in the face of which are totally backwards.  But looking at it objectively, the only reason why anyone is even here in Madinah-especially right in Masjid an-Nabawi is due to Allah’s Mercy and if a sister, brother or child is seen with faults, then surely I have faults of my own that most probably annoy others as well, yet I’m still here out of Allah’s Compassion.  This is not always easy to remember, but it is sometimes the only way to cope with misdeeds of others, and misdeeds of oneself.  May Allah help us to overlook each others’ faults, not get defensive with suggestions to worship Allah in the way He deserves, and the courage to ask for clarification on what is pleasing towards our Creator without a feeling of embarrassment. Ameen. 

To be a Muslim doesn’t mean one should negate their own cultures, ideas, even style of dress. It just means that one should adapt their ways towards what is accepting on Allah’s standards as expressed to us in the Quran and exemplified through the Sunnah.  Stepping into a collection of Muslim representations is really breathtaking.  When you get to see a modestly suit-like dressed turkish woman making seemingly sincere duaa as evidenced by tears rolling down to her knees, or when you observe the love of an Indonesian mother portrayed in carrying her child towards Rawda where our Noble Prophet, alayhee salat wasalaam is, to send salaams; or even when you are exposed to an African elderly woman sitting in a wheelchair  struggling whole-heartedly to keep her hands above her hands in hope for Allah’s Help; you can’t help but be moved, intrigued, or inspired if you have the least bit of eman.  Being a witness to Muslim diversity, and being a part of it is a blessing that Allah gives many of us to reflect upon no matter where on the face of this Earth we are upon.  The woman’s lifestyle to my right shares a hope in Allah’s tender Love to be thrown upon her in her struggle to live a righteous life.  The woman’s lifestyle to my left shares a fear of destruction and Allah’s horrendous Wrath in the Hereafter if death catches her on a path that is not on the Straight.  Physicians with donia clout yet with weak eman, and unlettered adults with the best of ihsaan..and everything in between is what we get to see at the Haramain.  All of whom are here hoping to build a piece of remembrance to bring back home, worshipping Allah in the blessed lands, and striving to acheive success in both worlds. 

The state of the Ummah has a distinct gift from Allah that we should all stop and really be grateful for.  It’s that we are the Ummah, we are the believers, we are those Allah promises us Jannah, and regardless of what field of study, what degree, what societal status, we are Muslims whom Allah promises us many gifts, not because we are worthy of them, but because He is truly ar-Rahman.  This swelling diversity, this ongoing rush of people jam into the doors of Masjid an-Nabi is not because of intentionally negating the imprtance good manners-but out of an emotional need & emotional excitement with the ironic aims of being content! Subhan’Allah.  Yeah things like this can get annoying, especially since I enter with my 4 small children, and there are situations even at the haram which can be upsetting and stressful..but that is when that little voice on my right-the ’maala’ikka’ remind me: “the reason why these people are here(residents or visitors) is due to Allah’s Will, Blessings, Mercy and everyone has faults so get over it and stress about your own instead of those fall-backs of others.”  The crowds are not expected to let up until after Ramadan insha’Allah for just a little before Hajj.  So we are just trying to go with the flow as they say, and make the best of a beautiful diverse traffic increase as we walk through the Doors of Mercy to visit the Prophet of Mercy and ultimately have gaining Allah’s Mercy.  Resident or visitor of this luminous city, we are all in it together.  May Allah facilitate a visit for those who seek it, and may Allah facilitate a hijrah to Madinah for those who seek it. Ameen. 

Imagine what Makkah must be like now..?! Seeing it on tv is intense enough, masha’Allah!  Just a couple of weeks ago, I was kind of in shock of the amount of people there.  We got there on a Wednesday, and were so grateful we had finished our Umrah right after Isha because by Thursday (which is always seems to be the busiest day of the week, here in Madinah or Makkah) tawaffin’ was very intense…masha’Allah!!  When we were on the second floor watching the masses  some commented that it seemed as packed as Ramadan down there.  Staring at bait’Allah while imagining the Angels encircling up above somewhere in the samawaat around another House of Allah, and contemplating the diversity of a small portion of our world-wide Ummah magnitized to the Kaaba below is something I highly rec’d for any Muslim at Masjid al-Haraam to experience.  Nothing else in the world matters but talking to Allah,askin g Him to assure a spot in Jannah when one sees thousands upon thousands seeking Allah in every Sunnah way possible.  I haven’t gone for hajj yet, but I can only imagine..and to think that we are just in the beginning of Umrah season. Masha’Allah, La Hawla Wala Quwatta illa’billah..

Now about the latest controversy at Masjid an-Nabi women’s section.  Saudi girls are taught from a very young age the importance of dressing modestly outside their homes, and rightfully so.  Though I’m pretty convinced that the belief here is that niqab is fard, even encouraged for the girls who haven’t entered into the age of accountability.  This would make sense seeing that young girls whose moms who wear hijab back in the West often would like to wear the hijabs out to the supermarkets or wherever. The women of Madinah tend to wear the black over-head abayah with the niqab covering the eyes & gloves too.  No peaking into them at all..masha’Allah.  In the haram, their over-head tends to drop to the shoulders while still in their hijab, gloves come off and there is a trail of their abayah dragging across the floor with every step.  At the Masjid an-Nabi’s girls’ school office, one sister kindly advised me to cover my face in the haram too because I guess the King or one of the higher-ups in Madinah, women are now allowed to come in the Mosque wih camera phones.  Subhan’Allah, because right before this ‘naseeha’ was given to me I noticed a group of Egyptian women snapping shots of each other inside and I warned them to hide or get rid of it; that they should stop before the female guards would see them.  Little did I know this was unnecessary.  As far as I remember there have always been video cameras in the women’s section?  I asked the female staff members about this, and they said that men only use the tapes in case of an emergency-with the female staff being aware that is going to happen first.   This might explain why many women guards (all saudi it seems) choose not to reveal their faces in the women’s prayer areas eeven before the let up of the camera phone ban.  But I did ask a few why they did and the response was “just because”maybe they are more comfortable that way in preserving their modesty even infront of other women I guess.  I ascribed that towards the culture and not Islam.  This also explains why the girls halaqas are now held downstairs in the mother-forbidden entry school rather than out in the midst of crowds within the prayer area. Also, probably to avoid distractions as visitors of Rasullilah, alayhee salat wasalaam tend to get all giddy when they see young girls learning Quran in a circle, masha’Allah tabarak’Allah. Kind of gets to me though that I can’t even see my girls physical set up that they spend their nights in.  But I guess I should get used to it as it is not any worse than the fact that I will also be forbidden entry into my son’s future school insha’Allah starting from first grade (…hmm, that’s if I even send him!!).

Nevertheless, the diversity of Muslimaat are in full effect where majority are not in niqab, you hear only the similarity of Islamic terms as common languages, and little girls from nations across the world filling in with their display of baby-doll like hijabs and the cutest of the cute clothing.  These are just a few reasons why I’ve always said that by going to the haram I feel a melting pot of cultures which is something I miss of being back in the US versus the ‘Sa’wadah’ of things here. Kheir insha’Allah.

Subhan’Allah, back to the camera phone issue for a second.  Last night in the courtyard, actually right on the side of the steps to the entrance of the Masjid, I noticed a woman guard raising her voice towards some Turkish women (Turkish sisters tend to be very kind, masha’Allah..). The women from Turkey didn’t speak any Arabic, but it was clear to them what was being said. NO CAMERAS.  The guard was so upset and very emotional, angry & sad..almost in tears about this actually it seemed. I approached her and tried calming her down.  I placed my hand upon her and reminded her to be patient and pointed out that this might be the first and last time these sisters are here and although they shouldn’t be taking pictures of people they are just in an emotional rush, encouraging her to let it go, in a gentle way.  She said to me that she was worried that women’s faces would be put up on the internet and if they wanted to take snap-shots it should be of the buildings not the people. I agreed with her and still continued to calm her down by saying we should make duaa for them to ask Allah for them to be guided..Alhamdulilah, the Iqama was then called and it was over-the ‘fight’.  This is a simple example of how BIG and threatening the camera phones are to the female workers of Masjid an-Nabi, even though this incident was outside.  

Because the nightly halaqas running for the different groups of girls are no longer in the prayer area, which means there are no more unregistered ‘maktaba’ classes for the kids who’d like to learn a thing or two in a playful environment during the week, only Thursdays & Fridays-weekend.  This is also a result of the cameras because the teachers are fearful that visitors will be taking their pictures, and it is not fair for the young girls to learn Quran from a person they can’t even see movement of lips or facial expression.  The haram women are requesting that we write a note of complaint in a book they have in the office with contact details so they can present this to the sheeyookh and managers of the haram, and also encouraging us to get our husbands involved.  They want to be able to expose their faces inside and they believe their right to do so is being infringed upon by allowing these cameras inside. Some of the guards at the entrance are ignoring the dropped rule and continue to search for the camera phones in purses and such.   This is the happening crisis here. 

I’ll conclude this camera phone thing with a personal note inshaAllah. I was outside as my 2 younger kids, Believer and Piety were praying while the older two went in with my mother.  Believer said “Mama, that lady is taking a picture of us.” I turned around and a young woman, she looked like an Emirati woman maybe, had already taken one without me knowing about it and asked if she could take another one…I said no (with a smile).  My mom thought I made a big a deal of it I think, and thought I should have just let her..but the truth is there are lots of other cute kids on the internet praying and such this woman can print out or whatever, and my maternal protectiveness of my children was brought out at that moment.  Back in the US, no one would ever take a random picture of a random someone openly like that.  Namely because privacy tends to be more respected, emphasized, and staring is something taught as very rude.  Here, it’s no problem at all.  I am not talking about lowering ones’ gaze towards the oppposite gender,  I’m saying that women stare at each other, teens, older girls (younger kids its natural and you can’t be upset by that)..it’s almost encouraged! Subhan’Allah. Please be extra careful with them when you are here, the last thing anyone needs to do is earn Allah’s displeasure by offending anyone…camera , staring, whatever. Jazak’Allahu Khair.

In any amount of disclosure of how this place is run, and how the cultural diversity is, the Saudis are, or whatever aspect about this Masjid and City, Masjid an-Nabi’s sweetness cannot be over-rated, and Madinah Munawarra are filled with virtues that can not be overstated.  So we shouldn’t confuse the sanctity of the place with the ill social conduct of some people. I’m not going to delve into all the negativities I see because the good outweighs all of that, and I fear that some reading this would take it as general assumptions about Muslims, worse, Islam. But I will tell you-whoever you are..that if you come here thinking that it is a utopic environment then you will be discouraged.  Because of this expanding diversity of thousands, please be aware that corruption does exist.  A wake-up call to myself first.

What I have discovered here, is that any small tiny bit of sin, wrong-doings or misdeeds is ironically magnified in vision.  It’s really a big deal here because of the sanctity of this luminous city or even in (especially in) Makkah where you have the Kaaba staring back at you.  A sour situation witnessed anywhere else on Earth just doesn’t hurt as much because somehow I tend to rationalize that most people are not aware of the fulfilling ways of Islam so I blame there ignorances of Allah’s deen for their faults and have hope that He will guide them.  On the flipside to that is here in Madinah, a simple tiny bit of goodness being poured out by others revives the spirit of Islam.  This enticement becomes a catchy motivator to the nafs of what Allah loves.  Wallahi, a smile means so much in the midst of a stressful moment, and even moreso here because most of the time, it is from a believer who is on a spritiual retreat.  I am in love with practicing Muslims, our history, and the blessings Allah has always bestowed on us through time.  I am in love with Madinah, it’s history, and it’s blessings of all time. Wa’alhamdulilah. But love hurts when it’s people do not always represent the best of Islam, including myself.  Love hurts when history is forgotten, and blessings are seen as a given rather than something uniquely special to our Ummah.  This is the only way how I can explain that Islam is a perfect system, but us Muslims are far from it.  Aren’t we taught that it is not our good deeds alone that will get us into Jannah? It is the Mercy of Allah.  Here, the goodness is enriched and the corruption is magnified..so my heart’s mission is left to aim at glamourizing the good and suppressing the evil I see..and hope that I can remain positive with all the negativity shouting at me, and praying I can negate the negativity with all the pure good I could rarely ever see living in the US.  Just another part of my jihad in Madinah Munawarra I guess.  Probably the jihad of any Muslim anywhere in the world dealing with others in our Ummah too.  May Allah guide each of us, making our children stronger in faith than we are, and granting us Firdous out of His Compassion and Mercy. Ameen. 

Wa’Alhamdulilahi Rabb’il Alameen.

                                                                                                                     …and Allah Knows Best.