Luminosity

Asalaam Alaikum Warahmat Allah Wabarakatu:

At Fajr, I got the girls on the bus for school.  Made the coffee and sat down to check my email and read up what’s going on in this world.  Before I got the scoop on this donia, I ironically was again reminded of the akhira.  Subhan’Allah.  Insha’Allah, I need to share with you, what was shared with me… 

A friend from back home, living now in Maryland sent me of a very recent update written by another sister from Maryland, currently in the grave who completed hajj this past season.  May Allah have mercy on her, pour light in her grave, and grant her Firdous, ameen.  Her letter has been forward throughout the Muslim Ummah of Maryland, USA.  However, I am posting it here (without the use of authentic names*) in hopes the good words she used towards our Ummah, the true spirit of Islam, and ultimately the beauty of Allah’s Rahmah (Mercy) will be considered an ongoing sadaqah charity for her.  Also to include her in your duaa today;  May Allah have mercy on her, pour light in her grave, grant her shade on the Day, and bless her with Firdous. Ameen.

“All-
What can I say?! Hajj was the most blessed, loving and healing experience that I have ever had. Yes, a once in a lifetime dream come true, and that is if I could dream so fabulously. Up until the experience, I thought I could. But this has even exceeded my best of dreams. Alhumdulilah! I’m going to tell you in advance that this update might be long. I’m just thinking that I have soooooooo much to share. So get comfortable and forgive me for being wordy! (smile)From the beginning. My trip began in Egypt. We flew out of JFK, NY and flew Egypt Air. What a horrible flight. It’s cramped and so did my legs and everyone was coughing and hacking and sneezing. The flight is 9 hours and although I wore a mask which many fellow flyers shared with me that that was a great idea. To this day my legs are still recovering. So a little advice, if you every fly Egypt Air I encourage you to get two seats. They don’t charge you more. They understand the need. But unless you ask, forget about it. Some of you know my parents live in Egypt. My dad and my stepmother as well as my niece Laila. And I just fell in love with her. We are now BFF! Gotta love that. She is graduating from high school this year 2008. Wanting to attend my Alma Motta The University of Maryland. And wanting to hang out with her Aunts Moi and my sister Zeinab* who lives less than 15 minutes away from me. Gotta love that even more. In all of these years I have never had one conversation with Leeyan*. And I’ve always wanted to do so. So by the grace of Allah, we got the opportunity and I just love her. We have a shared experience, both being raised by my stepmother. And those of you who know me, know that there has been some shall we say “issues” surrounding that upbringing. Remember when I sent you all that e-mail asking for forgiveness prior to hajj? And thank you for graciously responding. I saw this as an opportunity to talk with my stepmother and do the same. We hadn’t spoken in over 30 years! WOW! I know! I engaged her and she responded. She was hesitant at first, which is understandable since she really doesn’t know me. But we spoke for hours. It was healing and cleansing in that we now have a better understanding of each other. And it was down and dirty as my sister would say. We talked about everything. Leeyan was present which was great in itself, because she like me could benefit from understanding. By the way her name is Maryam* but we call her Ummi, which means mother in Arabic. For years I rejected calling her Ummi. But Alhumdulilah, its cool now. See how blessed this trip was?! Ummi and I embraced like we have never done. I asked her for forgiveness and not only did she forgive me but she turned right back around and asked for my forgiveness. How awesome is that. It was a love/healing fest. Afterwards, Ummi said it was a wonderful “session” which is the perfect word to describe it. Then she hugged and kissed me like she had never done. It was sweet and motherly. How wonderful was that! So this is how my trip began. Healing and love from the very beginning. I neglected to state that Dad and Ummi live in a fabulous home in New Cairo and I would expect nothing less from her. She has always had exquisite taste.It was during this very short visit, about 3 days that I got sick. I completely lost my voice. I mean nothing was coming out. No sound. My legs were cramping and I was a mess! In retrospect it was indeed an ar-rahma = blessing from Allah. That I will explain later. However, Ummi cared for me. Even gave me her warm pjs, which I took with me to jajj. Made me soup and well, It was just beautiful. Really cool. I slept one complete day. Didn’t realize it until I awakened that I had spent no time with father. Insha-Allah, on the way back.So Ummi and Leeyan took us to the airport. We flew from Egypt to Medina and then flew first class to Jeddah. I’ve never flown first class before. So it was a treat. Those reclining seats were as wide as a twin bed. Gave my legs needed stretching room. It was cool. This is where hajj really hits you. Everyone on board is headed to make hajj. We are all reciting aloud a prayer answering Allah’s call to make hajj. That is everyone, even the pilot! So cool. We Muslims believe that only Allah determines who make hajj. In fact when you return you hear of countless stories of folks who never got there; were turned away at the airport or something. So we believe that hajj is an invitation from Allah. And you feel it. You feel as though Allah is calling you home. Now I know I’m just going to cry now. The thought of the realization frankly overwhelms me. I am so grateful for the blessing of hajj.

We traveled with “darelsalam” travel. I highly recommend them to those of you who are thinking of making hajj. They were incredible. They took about 2 thousand American citizens from all over the country. And countless Canadians. It is a little pricy but worth every penny. First class all the way. Including the knowledge and teaching and Love. More love than I could ever describe. At every point of travel, even at JFK, there was a darelsalam representative there awaiting our arrival to assist us. By this time my legs were shot and I had no voice so they were indeed needed. And they rose to the occasion. I’m not sure how many buses there were but we were on bus 27. When hubbie and I entered the bus, the Imam stopped everything and made an announcement. He said to everyone, “I want you all to know that Allah will answer all of your prayers because of YOU! And he looked at me and pointed to me. Now remember, I don’t know this man or anyone else except for hubbie. I looked at hubbie and said, is he talking about me? What did I do. He then responded to me as if he could read the expression on my face since remember, I had no voice. He said yes you, “Sister Jawharah*!”. Allah has blessed us with you. I just started balling. What else could I do. Later I understood what he was saying. I was visibly ill. In Islam, sickness is an ar-rahma=blessing from Allah. Since it brings you closer to Allah and is indeed a cleansing and expiation of sins. That is what Muslims believe. Caring for the ill or sick is also looked at as an ar-rahma from Allah. It is a blessing to care for the sick. So what he was saying was that Allah blessed them with me because Allah has given them me to care for during the very special journey of Hajj. How beautiful is that! And boy did they rise to the occasion. My sisters in Islam were fabulous. I was hugged and kissed and such kind words were said to me. When I wasn’t crying happy tears I was hugging someone. At Arafat, our first stop after paying a visit to the Kaba. Women and men were in separate tents. Our tent was beautiful. The sisters had set up a bed for me in the back. Remember the movie ‘Pretty Woman’ with Julia Roberts? The seen where she is shopping? Well that’s how it was. Except for me they were all doctors surrounding me. Taking my pulse checking my eyes. It was too funny. They all thought that my apparent illness was due to cancer but I had no voice to tell them that I just got ’sick’ in Egypt(-cancer symptoms had literally just begun-)! It was days before I could explain that I walk 3.5 miles a day at home. I’m fine! Just have a cold of some sort! It was just too funny. I later found out that they thought I was much younger. Said I looked like I was in my twenties. Imagine there surprise when I told them that I was 43! Now that was funny. The conversation began, “Sister Jawharah* how long have you been married? It is so obvious how much your husband loves you. Alhumdulilah” To which I responded 15 years. The next question or statement was that I shouldn’t have gotten married so young. They thought I was a newlywed, given Hubbie’s attentiveness. I said no, hubbie is always like this he is just on steroids this trip! But I’m 43 and I did not get married young. That was funny. My sisters were shocked. When they found out that I walk 3 plus miles a day, they were even more surprised. But this gave me opportunity to talk about IBC. To talk about non-traditional healing techniques. Only one out of the many doctors had ever heard of IBC. So through sign language and one sister sitting close enough to both hear and read my lips repeating what I was saying aloud. It was indeed an educational opportunity. And they were all lovingly attentive. Alhumdulilah. So they understood that although I was a metestatic breast cancer patient, I was not symptomatic. Very impressed. And very thankful to Allah. All of them prayed for me the entire trip. And told me so. One sister told her husband who is pictured extensively on Egyptian television. I look up and she is introducing me to him. He asked some question about my health and the next thing I know he is on the mic to the entire group Americans and Canadians, telling them all bout me. Saying a prayer for me and asking them to join him. I’m just balling again. All of these people were praying for me. It was amazing. And everyday, I felt so much love. It was as if Allah was personally embracing me. I felt it. It was like hubbie times a million. A love that I can’t fully describe. Followed up with acts and words of love and kindness from all of these people. It was the most amazing feeling. Remember when I told you that me getting sick in Egypt was an Ar-Rahma from Allah? Well indeed. It felt like not only did Allah want me to feel his love, but he wanted me to in addition feel it from his greatest creation, mankind. They were awesome. The thought of there kindness continues to bring tears to my eyes. Some of the things that were shared and said to me were profoundly loving. So very amazing.

I can’t describe seeing the Kaba for the first time. This is were all Muslims face at least 5 times a day in prayer. All Muslims, no matter where you are in the world. And here you are, standing in front of it with 4 million others from all over the world. The diversity is heart warming. Pilgrims from Tunisia, China, many parts of Africa, Greece, the U.S., Switzerland, etc. You have never seen such diversity ever at a gathering. All dressed in white. Absolutely beautiful. Ummi shared a story during her hajj where she met a family complete with babies and little ones, a pot for cleaning and food preparation, rice and meal, that had walked from Chad! Yes, walked from Chad. It took 2 years but they made it. Amazing! You see the pilgrims all over. They have there tents and sleep in the street. You literally walk over them. And I know what you think. Saudi Arabia is a desert. Well know it isn’t. Mecca is a major city. If you want to see sand you gotta look for it. At night we stayed at The Hilton. Yes, the Hilton, complete with room service. And so did many others. The Kaba is surrounded by high rise buildings/hotels. Name the hotel, it is there. So are KFC, Burger King and McDonalds. Name the fast food restaurant and it is there. I don’t think I saw any sand. It is a major city. Its doors are open to the pilgrims of hajj and they city belongs to us. Shopping is amazing. From the 22 karat gold to the scarves and Islamic clothing. Things that would cost us 440+ dollars here cost 7-10 dollars there. I wasn’t able to do much shopping but hubbie did some. Awesome deals. The dollar may be tanking but it does well in the east.One of the most amazing things for a Muslim in the U.S. is to hear the call to prayer live 5 times a day. Brought tears to my eyes every time. And when it begins, everything stops. I mean everything. The escalator stops running! If you are in the middle of a transaction at the store or restaurant, it stops until after prayer. My sister-in-law coined a fraise; “stop, drop and pray”! There is no other way to describe it. Everyone stops to pray right there and when prayer is over, life continues. As a Muslim all I can say is Alhumdulilah to that. I just loved it.

At the end you say goodbye to the holy city. I didn’t want to leave. I felt the urge to stay. It was strong. Didn’t want to leave that ever embracing love. Alhumdulilah, I still feel it but I want to go back. It was like a Muslim Woodstock with millions more and all the love plus some. So very awesome.

You can only imagine the goodbyes to all of our newly met family. Upon my suggestion we put together a contact list and I’ve received several e-mails already. Hubbie and I were also invited to attend an opening of an orphanage in Egypt. The project and dream of our group leader, Qasim*. There is such a need and he is raising money for it. I pray that Allah will answer his prayers and bless him with this orphanage. It is such a worthy cause. He not only asked us to come as his honored guest when it opens but he asked me to speak. How funny is that. I had no voice throughout the entire trip. And since this opening is scheduled to receive wide media attention internationally, Qasim* said that he would help me use this platform to talk more about IBC and my concern about breast cancer spreading throughout African and the east. How awesome is that. Hear that Dr. Laveen*? That means I need data! Gotta love that. I’ll let you all know when. And if you want to contribute to the orphanage let me know.So we completed hajj and returned to Egypt to hang out with the folks. Well it was very different this time. Although my voice was improving, you could hear some sound. Ummi, Leeyan* and I ran the streets. Talk about shop until you drop. We had a blast. These prices were better than Saudi. And Ummi knew everything. Did I mention that she is as cute as a button and Laila is a very attractive young lady and she has a different look compared to the other Egyptians. Ummi actually looks Egyptian. I can’t tell you how many women I saw at the Egypt airport that looked just like her. Her and Leeyan* speak the language fluently and they are experts in haggling/negotiating price which is part of the culture. It is assumed that you will do so. So between Ummi and Leeyan* I was in great hands. Laila had anyone under 20 years old eating out of her hands. Know that only men are at the stores selling stuff although the women are shopping. Leeyan* would give them that look or pout! They didn’t know what hit them. And everyone else was at Ummi’s mercy. They would simply say to me, how much do you want to spend. Goodness. When I say shopped until I dropped I mean it. We had a blast! I didn’t know Ummi was such a shopper. We could hang out all the time. She is one of us! I told my shopping girls upon my return home that they had to visit. Ummi and Leeyan* are shoppers just like us and they believe in getting the best deal. The hijab that I would buy here costs 30-70 dollars. In Egypt it was 1-3 dollars! Stop the madness. And gorgeous silks and silk blends. I must have purchased at least 50. But don’t tell hubbie! (smile). So needless to say, returning to Egypt was even more bonding at a female level – shopping! Good food and shopping. You might be shocked to hear that the malls are the same here, complete with starbucks and cinibun! By the way, Egypt or New and Old Cairo are the same. Looking for sand you gotta look for it. Visiting the pyramids was as simple as driving down town DC and looking at the monument. Part of the city skyline, the pyramids are magnificent. So we took pictures standing next to them and on a camel. Yes, I got on a camel. As I was doing so with hubbie,my brain said to me, “Jawharah*, what are you doing?! I just asked it to give me a minute and indeed it did, Alhumdulilah. What I neglected to say was this was my first airplane ride since breast cancer and brain surgeries. You know when you are on an airplane and your ears pop? Well my ears didn’t pop but my brain did. I can’t explain it but it is as horrible as it sounds. Alhumdulilah I survived it and I’m home. I feel fabulous. My legs or really its only my left leg is getting better daily and my voice is slowly returning. Saw my naturalpath today and is scheduled to see my PCP this Friday. MRI of the brain is scheduled for Tuesday the 8th Insha-Allah. Insha-Allah. I’m just so grateful. Wow!Now although hubbie and I didn’t take any pictures many did including Ummi of us at the pyramids. So my sisters and brothers in Islam have been sending me pictures. Hubbie and I may be in one or two. So when I figure out how to send you the link, Insha-Allah I will do so. Look for the Update that has pictures in the subject line.Have a happy New Year, Insha-Allah. Love you all.Hajjah Jawharah* – too funny! Alhumdulilah!”

I wonder if she ever got to send those pictures? Maybe not, but hopefully, by Allah’s Mercy she’s viewing more beautiful ones of her placement in Jannah..while she awaits Ressurection Day. Let’s try our best to earn beautiful scenes when we are buried down awaiting in al-barzakh.
                                                  

                                                                                                                              …and Allah Knows Best.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 18th, 2008 at and is filed under Uncatagorized, Islam, Hajj Season, Sacred Makkah, Sincere Sisters, Haramain, The Ummah . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.