Luminosity

Subhan’Allah. I thought I might be able to fast today, but I can’t. Relating this to my husband I said maybe Allah would not accept it from me…even though the reward for fasting today is so grand according to our beloved Rasullilah (sal’Allahu alayhee wa’salam) for it is the Day of Arafat.  My husband then said, and insha’Allah you won’t fast next year either. Hmm?! He quickly added maybe Allah will invite me for Hajj -so instead of fasting maybe insha’Allah I will be standing on Jabal ar-Rahmah supplicating with millions of other Muslims. Allah knows best. That was a pleasant dream to start my day with.

So our house is almost empty, anyone want to buy it?! My important documentations like medical and school records are all packed in a carry-on bag, sleeping on mattresses, and eating whatever my mother cooks and brings over for us as all our kitchen gear is packed or donated away.  Our container has been put on hold by US customs, which was sort of a given anyway seeing that it’s making its way to Saudi insha’Allah. Yesterday I brought my oldest to her school from last year (I’m homeschooling this year) to say bye to all her friends whom she sees almost every friday at Jummuah.  I was asked more questions from the teachers and Muslim sisters there like: “So do you know about the schools there?” ”Where in Madinah are you going to live in?” “When will you be back?” All of which I have absolutely no clue of now! Allah has those answers and they have not been even remotely revealed to us yet! Anyways, other comments were like “Oh, you are so lucky!..and others like “You are the chosen one!” Hmm…these comments actually remind me more of something else..that this is more about being tested than blessed. I said this to them too, because imagine if someone who is surrounded by masajid, the beauty of Islam…and not take it to heart and not benefit from it by increasing in knowledge, iman, and ibaadat? Subhan’Allah, or even becoming numb to salah, fasting, or doing good deeds out of routine..Then surely the test would have earned a bad score, not hassanat. May Allah protect me and the Muslims from this.

 People tend to take advantage of what they have, and perhaps this is why those devout Muslims you see in the West are really devout, because they fear and understand the reality of having a lack of faith and no the risk is so high due to the environment. But maybe some (no, not all) in Muslim countries, because they know it’s so easy to gain knowledge and such they aren’t as eager? ALLAH knows best, and I just pray that I don’t become numb by being in an Islamic environment that worship is done out of routine vs. meaning.

Well, Eid Mubarak everyone…and may Allah guide us all and admit us in His infinite Mercy that we should all be desperate for..

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