Luminosity

JUST A NOTE:

This post is a bit more personal than usual but it is in reference to a few emails and comments I have recieved in questioning of ‘how it feels to be back in the States’, the purpose of our visit the differences encountered between both places. These views are that of my own, and are shared with readers so others will inshaAllah understand something very important (that we all know of, but we all forget from time to time) no place is perfect, no place is ideal..life is indeed a struggle, no matter where you are on the face of this Earth. But the question I throw back to many of you is and especially to those given the keys to Madinah yet are hesitant, what exactly is it are you struggling for in life? Madinah might not offer the best of this donia for many, but it can offer a sense of security, that ’sakinah’ implanted in hearts a little bit more than any other place, knowing that you are walking upon the footsteps of Prophet Muhammad, pbuh, and upon sacred land. You may never have this chance again, and know one knows how long you’ll last there. (we certainly don’t know how long we will be there either). So it might all boil down to 2 things: 1) Intention & 2) Trust in Allah to Plan it for you…hard with wasswassa, but that’s why we have the tool of Istikhaara. may Allah do what is best for all of usand may Allah overlook our weaknesses which are countless.

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Asalaam Alaikum Warahmat Allah Wabarakatu Wasalaam Wasalaat ala Rasullilah….
I am currently in the US with my children while my husband is still in Madinah. insha’Allah he’ll be coming soon to join us in the States for our summer stay.  We hope that Allah will place us back in Madinah where our home is by the start of Ramadan with His Permission. We planned on coming here for the summer for 2 main reasons: for being with my parents and family, namely my father who we haven’t seen in a year.  My parents pretty much raised my children with us all along before we got up and left for Madinah 1.5 yrs ago. So the separation was difficult but alhamdulilah Allah does facilitate ease.  The other major reason why we planned to be here, and for so long, is due to Mercy’s follow-up needs with her audiologists.  Mercy, who’s 7 was born deaf.  Without the Allah’s Blessings upon her by granting her the support of an oral-deaf education, technology on her cute little ears, and duaa from all the Muslims who’ve ever met her she wouldn’t be able to utter a clear word.  Miraculously, seeing her or hearing her speak now is priceless in my heart and listening to her recite Quran better than some adults are reminders to me of Allah’s Favors upon her.  We bought her an upgrade processor to her cochlear implant that needs at least a few visits over a period of time for programming, plus she needs be tested and her hearing aid on her other ear needs to be maintained along with a few other hearing stuff to assure that her needs are met for the next year. In Madinah there is an audiology center near the Haram, but they only deal with hearing aids and they are not able to assess hearing in a sound booth.  I know that there is an audiologist who works with cochlear implants and even the model processor Mercy just got but that’s way over in Jeddah; which is good to know for any sudden need that may arise. But now that we are here, I hope we can get all her care done with over the summer so we won’t have a need to do that over there in Saudi. (ya Rabb!).

As far as how it feels being back, well its twofold-Allah’s blessings here in the States are beautiful. His nature, the organization, my familiarity with everything and not second guessing what something means due to my stronger language of English, being able to drive and get things done on my own terms when and how I want it.  The order of day and night-meaning that people here follow the natural order of waking up early and going to bed early, I really miss that about here.  Accessibility to whatever you need and knowing where and how to get it with ease.  I mean if I need to buy personal items I can do that without any tension because I know at any given CVS, Target, or Stop & Shop my voice doesn’t have to be hush hush and I am welcomed by the store managers with 4 kids lingering behind me rather than being stared down and the kids being hushed up if they bump something off the shelf.  Oh, and here its quite easy to find inexpensive products that will last a long time, also an advantage.  Libraries and activities for children are always available without searching too hard as well-although we don’t really have time for organized sports and such due to our goals for Quran Hifz.  In a society where there are many kuffar, most non-muslims, and much hypocrites it can still be an upliftment of spirits when most of the time people are holding the door for you, smiling and telling you to have a good day while getting off the elevator, and overall positive social interactions result.  This is why I often make duaa for people who do random acts of kindness that Allah will guide them to Islam.  This is where I grew up and learned about life, and Allah as a child, and continued to do so as a woman.  This is the only home I ever knew before moving to Madinah Munawarrah. But the best thing about it all is the fact that I am here with my parents who raised me and get to see their love pour through for my family and I.  Especially when they are having fun with their grandchildren, masha’Allah that view is priceless wa’alhamdulilah. I respect, love & cherish my parents-they are overly generous with us and although they are not in need of me, I hope I can somehow do something for them-for now it’s just duaa, and Allah Hears my whisperings that I beg of Him for them to enter Firdous and to forgive me for not being the best of daughters, even though I am their only daughter.

But ofcourse there is a flipside..and subhan’Allah a big flipside!  I am a stranger in my own homeland as I am all dressed up in my hijiab & jilbab garb.  I wasn’t into the black thing before when we were living here. People in general have a big hitch on their shoulders when they see Muslim women in black and have all sorts of ideas of (once again) oppression, ignorance, extremism, and maybe even ‘psychoism’.  We are in Southeastern MA. where the only time we encounter other Muslims is at the Friday Jummuah.  This year I sometimes wear a simpled solid colored piece under my black khimar in hopes that I don’t seem too alienish.   While I feel odd to wear the niqab here, it is true in my heart as something rec’d and preferred.  But my face isn’t a fitnah here-there’s already too much of that everywhere else, while back in Madinah the further away from the haram you go..the more fitnah a woman’s face can be, just my thoughts not a fatwa. 

At the park we’ve met people who resemble the people of Prophet Lut (as) this state of Massachusetts is the first state to legalize gay marriages in the US.  Naked (ok, just about naked billboards and innapropriate pictures, and  bars at almost any restaurant with indecent music being blared at the malls are much more annoying this time around than they were last summer and certainly more than when we lived here. Is it because I had become immuned somehow to them? Maybe. Explaining why men on motorcyles aren’t wearing tees and why other girls my daughters ages have their bellie buttons sticking out of their shirts are just a few simple situations we have come across. My parents and I have an internal clock that tells us to be home in time for Salah rather than depending on the Adhan and Iqama echoing out at every corner.  Oh and what about the poor? Where are those brohers cleaning the streets that you can give charity too? Or those women who are sitting on the corners trying to sell fresh mint and basil to give money too with a kind word? I haven’t even begun to speak of all the beauties of Madinah..but maybe Allah placed me here for the summer to awaken my appreciation for the Blessed City of the Prophet (although the heat is pretty harsh these days over there!)

Reintegrating here is a bittersweet..the things I may have been numb to before bother me more now, but simple blessings that I took for granted are more appreciated. There is no ideal place on the face of this Earth to live..and everywhere there is a struggle, but I am grateful that Allah has made our home in Madinah because if you have a choice to struggle anywhere in the world..as a Muslim why wouldn’t you choose Madinah? With every blessing there is a test embedded within..Madinah is no exception to the rule. Stakes are much greater if and when I commit anything haram in Madinah, so yelling at the kids there earns me bigger trouble there than here!  I would love my parents to live over there with us, and I would love Boston Children’s Hospital Audiology department to be in Madinah too. Can’t forget my little cutie nephew who’s out in Cali to be with us as well with his parents. But Allah is the best of Planners and with difficulty comes ease. 

 May Allah increase us in Sabr and accept our deeds..without His Acceptance then all of this and all of that is meaningless..Please never forget what our deen al-Islam teaches us, that every blessing we are given..we should be careful with it, because that tiny blessing might turn into something against us on the Day if we do  not view it as what it is the most, an exam.

Allah Knows what we have no clue on..

“Verily, Allah! With Him (Alone) is the knowledge of the Hour, He sends down the rain, and knows that which is in the wombs. No person knows what he will earn tomorrow, and no person knows in what land he will die. Verily, Allah is AllKnower, AllAware (of things).”

{Quran, 31:24}

That’s just a simple proof that Allah Knows Best…

Asalaam Alaikum Warahmat Allah Wabarakatu:

So we are back ‘home’ but not home! Let me explain.  I’m not in Madinah! The kids & I are (temporarily inshaAllah) reintigrated back in the US. The looks, the questions, the remarks, and comments are something else..and I am not talking about those made towards us! My children are little and even the oldest has found a few things surprising. Surprisingly pleasant, and surprisingly…well, shocking! Can’t get into it now, but inshaAllah we are here for the summer so hopefully some can be shared later in another post. Please keep us in your duaa (and my family who we are staying with here & husband please) if you can remember, and especially those of you who are heading towards bait’ALLAH, or visiting our beloved Nabi, alayhee salaat wa’salam.  Being away from Madinah makes me more greedy for duaa to be made on our behalf, sorry! My emailing and responses to comments are kind of slow these days, but I do still check at least once a day, might be a few days for me to get back inshaAllah..unless there’s an urgent question or something that I might be able to help clarify.

 May Allah increase us all in Eman, Sabr, Ihsaan, Taqwa & Birr..Ameen. Doesn’t this Ummah need so much more of it?

and ALLAH is the Best of Planners…

Low Down on Schools in Madinah:

Madinah is a beautiful place to be and there are opportunities to learn at every corner, finding what works for you and your family if you are making hijrah can be a challenge though..actually seems to be for everyone-young or old. There isn’t really one source that covers it all, so I hope this humble attempt of mine will be useful for those seeking knowledge here for themselves and/or their kids.  I tried to focus on schools for kids as I have gotten many emails recently of those who are coming here inshaAllah from all over the world (namely the West though) of how schools work.  If any of you readers are in Madinah or in KSA and have input then please add it..in the comments section and I will appreciate it very much as I am still trying to figure out how all these things work! Also, not meaning to sound redundant as I know I have mentioned a few points here and there through other posts-but I wanted to make it as comprehensive as I could here to help us all get organized in our thoughts and missions of seeking knowledge for the sake of Allah..and Allah Knows Best.

4 Types of Schools

1. Saudi Private: Non-Quran Based

Price tag of 3500-9500 riyals /year (Quran and non-Quran based)

Arabic Medium, everything including math, sciences with the obvious exception of English

Most if not all teachers in these schools are Saudi, young women

Hours are longer ranging from 6:30-1:30 in the spring terms, and 7-2 in the winter (give or take from school to school)

Bus services available but can be up to 2,000 for each kid per term- always a lady on the bus for girl schools known as the ‘Mushriffa’.

Your paying so they’ll listen, give out their mobile phones

Extra-curricular activities like computers, gym, and crafts: don’t let this fool you though because goals for these classes are not established, more like exposure rather than planned lessons

Quran is a defininte part of the curriculum, they follow the national standards, but are not overbearing on the kids and have a more easy approach to fostering memorization

Any type of Government School is going to have a ratio of 1:20 kids (up to 25)

2. Saudi Private Quran-Based

All subjects are taught, including English but Quran is strongly emphasized, maybe more than all other classes.

Best option for children whose parents want them to take Quran seriously and are to let their kids fall behind in other subjects at least a little

Many expat families want their kids in these schools for Primary school so they can transfer into the Government Schools by 6^th grade (Motawassit/Middle School) come middle school time (6^th grade) due to Quranic component, it becomes much more difficult to get in if you are not Saudi-and if your child has not memorized much Quran according to syllabus, hence the desire to put younger kids in Saudi Private Quran based Schools.  I hear after that its nearly impossible to get in; and the Saudi Private Quran Based-Schools do not place as heavy emphasis on Quran in the Middle schools.

3. Government Schools

School hours are different-shorter days from 7-12:30 in the winter, and 6:30-11:30 (give or take these are estimates-the point is your child won’t be so exhausted if you want to put them in an afternoon program for hifz insha’Allah or in a halaqa at the Haram from Maghrib-Isha. More time to work with them on all subjects at home too insha’Allah.

Classrooms can have up to 40 kids in a class-so there is less attention on individual needs.

Not sure how welcoming they are to parents to pop in at any time, like in the Private schools

Manners are horrendous everywhere here, but even more so in Government so, to wean your child into the culture here might be better before throwing them in these schools.

Over 90-95% of kids I think are Saudi and your child will be different if you are an expat..make sure they are tough and stay true to themselves by placing Allah first

Teachers get better benefit packages and pay I guess too, but they put up with the lack of materials and resources and lack of time to consult with parents.

Children are graded more fairly in government schools (private schools teachers don’t want to upset the parents-although more encouraging towards them, they may claim your child is doing an excellent job when in fact they are only doing OK work)

4. International (English Medium)

Currently only 2 in Madinah (But plans to open Manarat International School after Ramadan 2008-2009-not all grades..inshaAllah i will post more when there is more info available)

Aqeeq International

Girls & Boys sections are not side by side but in same neighborhood

Mostly run by Egyptians with American curriculum, even things like US History

English medium, Arabic taught daily and French is part of the curriculum from 1^st grade too (maybe KG)

Islam is a part of all schools by default here, but some are less emphasized than others-Aqeeq is one of them

Quran taught by Saudis

Tons of homework and stress on academics, but weak Islamic and Quran education

Not open to suggestions and serious problem with adab of kids in the classrooms

Girls section is rated fair by parents-but certainly room for improvement and the boys section is worse

Known as the best of the worst schools in English (not a lot of choices in Madinah)

Seems like families of this school make hijrah here for monetary gain vs religious

Indian/Pakistani International School

Haven’t heard much, but heard it was better than Aqeeq, Urdu and Arabic taught early on and perhaps more religiously inclined families. Allah knows best.

International-not recognized by Saudi Ministry of Education

1 or 2 schools one is known as having a strong founder who has been here in Madinah for several years. But  from what I have heard the building is small and unkempt, not recognized by the Saudi Ministry of Education which creates a big problem when transferring out into another Saudi school, private or government

 Homeschooling

 You must provide them with a certificate of completion to register your children in the Saudi schools. We did this when my oldest completed 2^nd Grade with Calvert and alhamdulilah they accepted it but it is not an easy process and I wouldn’t  be surprised if this was a problem for others even with the certificate of completion-as rules here in Saudi seem not to be standard. But the stamp of approval needs to come from your home country’s Saudi office.

Quran/Arabic Lessons

Tahfeez/Hifz programs are everywhere. Young and older boys can be found are in every masjid in every neighborhood from Asr-Maghrib and some between Maghrib –Isha.

Girls have local schools looking like homes mainly same times as above.  They tend to focus on Arabic as it relates to Quran and Memorization. They don’t do tafsir, and the classes tend to be huge.

Saudi women tend not to be in these classes unless they are older and illiterate. You find mainly expat women going for the classes and Saudi girls of all ages going for their classes in the Asr-Maghrib time slot.

 Young boys and girls under 6 go for rawda and tamheedi which translates into preschool and pre-kindergarten attend in the mornings as well for about 3 hours-classes parallel to morning classes for women. Kids as young as 3 yrs. old can begin.

Programs are funded by government so tend to be free, but some are as costly as 50 riyals a month for each person enrolled. Not a big difference of quality of education

Teachers teaching mostly are young have memorized the whole Quran masha’Allah, but the minimum requirement is to have memorize at least 20 Juz.

At the Haram, Masjid an-Nabi there are morning Halaqas for women; Asr-Maghrib and Maghrib-Isha classes for girls and women.  Requires registration at the beginning of the Islamic year which fill up quickly.  But you can always sit and listen and recite along with them as these classes are mostly in the prayer areas of the Haram. No problem with that insha’Allah.

Boys halaqa are available in the women’s section of the Haram only for 5-6 year olds-then they get kicked out to the men’s section which their male guardian or male family member should seek to register  

Boy classes for those seeking for Hifz, filled with expat boys ranging from 6-maybe through 12 ish..from 7:30-11:30 I think (yanni, that’s an estimate of time), and there are also asr and maghrib programs for them there insha’Allah. Perhaps for men too? My husband told me there are halaqas throughout giving lessons on Tawheed, Fiqh and Fiqh with answer/question sessions with various Imams as well as Hudhaify, masha’Allah. Mostly in Arabic, but some un Urdu and during busy peak hours youll hear Turkish and English-same at the women’s section.

Islamic University of Madinah provides Arabic classes for non-arabic speaking boys and men for about 3 hours a night. They currently do not provide classes for women there, as far as I know.

Tutors are available insha’Allah in Madinah to help out and the prices vary quite a bit. Most women prefer to teach Quran & Arabic in their homes and will not venture out into yours. Some charge 50 riyals an hour, while others charge 700/month for 3/days a week (almost 2hours/lesson). Some will say 100 riyals a week plus 10 riyals each way if they are far from you –to cover transportation.

Fathers can find men tutors for their boys by heading to the Masjid-maybe by asking the imam for referrals.

Masjid Quba does not currently have classes for girls, but they do for boys Asr-Maghrib..not sure if they have them for boys in the morning. I’ve been trying to find that out.

Extra Stuff 

School across the street from Madinah National Hospital

for preschool, pre-K and KG boys and girls in the mornings with a tutroring program for girls from 5-9pm 5 days/week. They go with their books from school and get extra help in Quran, Arabic, all other subjects and English, Arts  & Crafts gym..everything they claim. 500 riyals/month for full time. You can opt for part-time too for a lower rate. Field trips and parties on Thursdays. Open year round, including summer. Closed during Eids and Ramadan, just opened up this year (in Spet, beginning of academic year).

Qodrat Math

Just heard this program is opening up soon in Madinah too. They follow the Math You See Philosophy. Pricey as well but focus is on problem solving claiming high academic standards. I emailed them a few days ago but no response yet. If anyone has any info on this let me know I guess this a widespread program and hear it is in Riyadh too. Check it out, www.qodrat.com.  

May Allah increase us all in knowledge, eman, ibaadat, and ihsaan..we are all in need, and may Allah make our kids way smarter than us!! Ameen.

….and with Allah is all Knowledge.

Saudi schools are brutal.  This is my girls first year in one and even though istikhaara was made prior to enrolling them, istikhaara must be made again for this next coming year.  These past few weeks have been nothing short of a daily bullying fest.  One girl is pretty much livid that Sign won’t pretend to agree with all she says, follow her ways, or marvel at her words.  As if there’s only one.  Mercy smiles and get’s dirty looks for a complement. Subhan’Allah. In return, backbiting, slander and all that laghw’ is being produced out of the mouths of 3rd grade girls, and in of all places.. Madinah. I hear the problems with the boys schools are much more physical.  I have said it before, I don’t even want to consider my little guy going to school because it seems like I’ll have to give up a part of my maternal right to actually see where he’ll be most waking hours of his day.  Anyways, I’m pretty sure these ill behaviors are an embedded negative trait throughout the Kingdom, its obvious just by observing the adults who think its normal to cut lines at the supermarket.  I know it goes on in the US, but it can be dealt with rationally there, here it’s a different story. 

The Saudi culture here promotes the attitude to sweep problems under the rug rather than dealing with them.  A clear example how culture and Islam are not compatible.  I see this especially with the way children are raised.  Give a child a lollipop if he cries and commend her when she talks back rudely to the teacher rather than encouraging respect.  Ok, so I am exaggerating a bit.  Maybe its the school my daughters are in, but then when I speak to other Western moms, I hear that this a widespread problem everywhere around here.  The more deen one has in ones’ heart the better character one tends to possess around here in Madinah.  This is not the case of people in the West, because you often see people who are not Muslim with great manners but their purpose are of different intentions: for business, to avoid trouble, for teaching..for fame or poularity, for recognition and rewards or even certificates.  Not for the pure sake of pleasing Allah. 

Really, the more devout someone seems (and I say seems because only Allah Knows the condition of people) the more likely they are to smile, extend salaams, share, and be kind and be of those who love following the Sunnah and have Islam in the forefronts of their hearts.  The less they seem to have, the more rude they are in lines, interrupting, pushing, tend not to extend salaams.  Encouraging children to say please, thank you, not to stare, not to pick noses in public are just a few simple norms in child-rearing in the home, school, or at the park back in the States.  Here it seems there is a lazy approach in fostering these all too important positive social skills for many.  So as a result, teachers don’t have the tools in facilitating this type of behavior because namely, tarbiya starts at home..or at least it should! It is very common to see boys memorizing so much Quran, mashaAllah, but then you see them throw their empty bag of chips on the ground.  Or cute little girls wearing hijab but are gossiping.  No social responsibility or a severe lack thereof.  Sorry for the negativity, but all of us in our Ummah need to wake up and not undermine the importance of our kids behaviors.  It actually disrespecting towards our children if we are not willing to take the few minutes to get them thinking of the rudeness Shaitan ar-Rajeem is laughing at. 

To each his own in the US when it comes to personal beliefs and decisions made so long as it doesn’t affect the neighbors. Suzy Q might be an idol worshipper or atheist but her mask is loving, content and pleasant with all she meets.  When Joe Shmoe is seen at a traffic light throwing out an empty cup of Dunkin Donut’s out the window he is rejected by society!  There are also fines, regulations and consequences enforced from childhood through adulthood back in the US that promote social welfare.  Here to each his own about social responsibility, but you better talk the talk of Islam and look like a Muslim or you’ll have people playing the dawah card on you.  All with good intentions of supporting their brothers and sisters in striving for the sake of Allah ofcourse.  (Somehow this reminds me last Eid when a Saudi woman was cussing out the US and telling me its better that I left blah blah blah..and I have never felt like I had to be defensive of my upbringing home before-but for her to be so critical really irritated me because there is good I see over there too-not on an equal level,  but still there are positive things that these Saudis can learn from to better themselves as Muslims!)

You’d think that societal norms here of displaying good manners would be the case by default because it should be all about Islam here.  But people take this holy, sacred land for granted and it is indeed sad when social responsibility is not maintained for the sake of God, not even for the sake of the law.  What law though? Clearly, if there are such laws, regulations then there is no enforcement or public awareness of them.  This is why when you see a good deed being done here, chances are its because of the decency of that person, child and their love for Allah. But when you see a good deed being done there in the US its probably due to a positive cultural norm and not due to the fear of God. 

In all the stories of the Prophets, manners and good dealings with people were in the forefront with their teachings.  The Anbiya’ of Allah all were defensive of Tawheed and did their utmost without fearing the people to prove the Kalima of La’illaha il’Allah.  Their acts in this donia was all about worship.  Their dealings with the people were completed with  wisdom, fair preachings, kind & gentle interactions.  Their cleverness was intact with each of the groups they had to face.  But there was one man who most scholars say was not a prophet at all, yet there is a surah in the Quran named after him due to the wisdom Allah bestowed upon him.  Luqman, alayhee salat’ wasalaam (am I supposed to even use that phrase after him if he is not a Prophet- I will for now just in case!).  Allah describes for us the intimate sincere advise he gave his dear son, a prescription for a successful life. 

Allah the Almighty relates to us in al- Quran al Kareem (Luqman 13-19) the beautiful conversation below:

“And indeed We bestowed upon Luqman al-­Hikmah (wisdom and religious understanding, etc.) saying: ‘Give thanks to Allah,’ and whoever gives thanks, he gives thanks for (the good of) his ownself. And whoever is unthankful, then verily, Allah is All ­Rich (Free of all wants), Worthy of all praise.

And (remember) when Luqman said to his son when he was advising him:

‘Oh my son! Join not in worship others with Allah. Verily! Joining others in worship with Allah is a great Zulm (wrong) indeed.’

And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.

But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.

‘Oh my son! If it be (anything) equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and though it be in a rock, or in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Verily, Allah is Subtle (in bringing out that grain), Well ­Aware (of its place).

Oh my son! Aqim­-us­Salah (perform as­-Salah), enjoin (people) for Al-­Ma’ruf (Islamic Monotheism and all that is good), and forbid (people) from Al­Munkar (i.e. disbelief in the Oneness of Allah, polytheism of all kinds and all that is evil and bad), and bear with patience whatever befall you. Verily! These are some of the important commandments ordered by Allah with no exemption.And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allah likes not each arrogant boaster.

And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the voice (braying) of a donkey.’ “

The first thing Luqman teaches his son is the importance of Tawheed and avoiding anything that even leads to shirk and warning him how evil this act is.  Soon after we learn that Luqman stresses the neccesity in maintaining good manners for the sake of Allah’s Pleasure.  Hello Ummah, we need to rectify our manners so keep reading..this isn’t about just a father to a son, this is about a blessed man’s advise to the world..

 A man came to Luqman, the Wise, and asked, ‘Are you Luqman? Are you the slave of so-and-so?’ He said, ‘Yes!’ The man said, ‘You are the black shephard?!’ Luqman said, ‘As for my black colour, it is obviously apparent, so why are you so surprised?’ The man said, ‘You became frequently visited by the people who pleasingly accept your judgements!’ Luqman said, ‘Oh cousin! If you do what I do, you will carry these characteristics.’ The man said, ‘What is it that you do?!’ Luqman said, ‘Lowering my gaze, watching my tongue, eating what is lawful, keeping my chastity, undertaking my promises, fulfilling my commitments, being hospitable to guests, respecting my neighbours, and discarding what does not concern me. All these made me the one you are looking at.’”

Also, one of the companions of Rasullilah, alayhee salat wa’salaam, spoke of Luqman and mentioned of how he was self-restrained, taciturn, deep thinking, and had such excellent manners.  No one ever saw him spit nor ever heard him clearing his throat. He never paid attention to trivial matters that had nothing to do with him, and never was he found foolishly laughing.  He was one of the most pious people who exerted himself in worship and who was blessed with wisdom. Due to his truthfulness, it is said that he may have even been a judge during the lifetime of Prophet Dawud `alayhee salaam.  Allah knows best.

All the Anbiya’ had the best manners, but the story of Luqman and his dealing with the people is told for us to witness as an example for us everyday normal people to follow. Why do we ignore these lessons ourselves, and then expect it of our children? Or why don’t we even reflect or relate these stories amongst ourselves or in open?  There is no question, many Muslims need mannerism training! Living in the center of Madinah Muslimhood� I see all sorts of behaviors that have nothing to do with proper Islamic etiquette which I will not get into because there are a whole heck of lot of great things I see Muslims doing too which hopefully outweigh those negative traits on the Day of Reckoning. (YA RABB!). 

Everyone has the potential to die as a mumin or a kaafir, no matter what family they were born into, what means they had to live with, whatever sins or good deeds they committed.   Prophet Muhammad, sal Allahu alayhee wa salaam, taught us its our hearts followed by deeds with the important ingredient of Allah’s Mercy that we need to make it to Jannah.  So this means that every human no matter what circumstances they face ultimately have a choice to earn that Rahmah for eternal bliss or negate it.  As Muslims we know that fitra is our innate desire to do what pleases Allah, but that the choices we make support or reject that pure natural disposition.  Researchers have said, and still say many mental disabilities are genetic.  I can agree that some are, but the DSM seems to always be growing with new environmentally based-choice based illnesses as well. I am not going to get into this debate here, but having worked with people who have faced chronic mental illnesses, having seen the affects of people who drink habitually, while knowing that ALLAH gives us a choice on how to live our lives makes me want to throw the ‘victim’ card out the window in many stories I have come across.  This is why I really love this part of Luqman’s story: The Tongue.

 ”Luqman, who was a wise man, served an officer when he was a young boy.

One day, his master said: “Slaughter one of the sheep and roast the best part of its meat for me.”

Luqman obeyed his order and roasted the tongue of the sheep for his master.

The next day, the master called Luqman and said: “Roast the worst part of a sheep today.”

Luqman again roasted the tongue of the sheep for his master.

When the officer sat down to eat, he was startled to see the roasted tongue again. He felt curious and wanted to know the reason.

Luqman said: “If a tongue is truthful and honest, then it is the best part of the body. but when a tongue tells lies and utters dishonest words, then it is the worst part of the body.”

Ahh imagine…imagine the day when people will not feel bitter, resentful, jealous, impatient with one another.  Imagine when manners will be in the forefront of action and speech.  Imagine no one will take advantage of the ‘make 70 excuses’ for your brother or sister rule. Imagine when people will at least smile when they stare :-).  Tiny deeds means alot people and we will be in for a rude awakening if we are thinking our prayers, fastings, trips to makkah for more worship and our statement of shahada is all whats going to cut us a ticket to Jannah without a dip in Jahannam first!! A’uthubillah!!

Let’s try harder not to cop out that attitude, let’s not ‘fight’ to get to the front of the line first, let’s ALWAYS put ourselves in other peoples shoes as they say in the West, and let’s not be hypocrites in teaching our children one thing while we do another. We as an Ummah have major rectifying to complete..so rather than pointing the finger at them, those over there..let’s point it first at our own hearts. Here in Saudi, there in the US or wherever us Muslims roam in and to..

Whether its bullying, pushing to get through, clearing one’s throat…or smoking!!!!! we all need to consider & apply Luqman’s, the Wise, and his teachings towards his son and others.

Now a simplified version of what I intended to get across of this post!!  I’m sure my daughter could have thought of a cooler poem, but hey..cut me some slack, I’m no poet!

Avoid the Dip

watch the lip

respect towards others

love your brothers

be sisters of eman

strive for ihsaan

reflect on Quran

and the

wisdom of Luqman

(alayhee salam?)

if any of you know what we should say after his name then please enlighten me, ok? JazakAllah Kheir.. :-)   

may Allah guide all of us on the Straight Path, and keep us sincere in our speech and actions. ameen.                                                                                 

                                                                                                                              …and Allah Knows Best.

On my recent stay in Makkah, (alhamdulilah) and even during the nightly increase of people, I am currently witnessing at here in Madinah at Masjid an-Nabi, I am experiencing a sound of similarity in humainty through dhikr, salawaat, duaa, with an influx of diversity through dress, language, and gestures.  It seems like everyday there are more and more people pouring in, and the serene environment where my kids could be 20 feet ahead of me without my worries upon them are now officially over!  Many people come here knowing very well that Madinah is a city of peace due to it’s obvious holiness.  Most people here I’d like to think are here for the right reasons, but one can not be overly secure especially with kids well-being.  Keep in mind that although this is a sacred land, a haram, everyone within, unfortunately is not up to par with the identity of an ideal Muslim as one might expect in a place like this.  We all have ‘room for improvement’ and remember that Allah Alone Knows the intention of people’s hearts.  Then there are those who love kids so much but do not put there safety first when pushing them out of the prayer line so they can pray in their spots, or passing out sugar cubes not knowing whether a child is a diabetic or what not.  Many women come here with an over-zeal of emotions and just don’t think before they act, speak or even stare.  They have been invited to this sacred land and become oblivious of the small deeds they should focus on in order to perfect their big deeds, maybe even forgetting that Islam is not just about prayers, supplications and seeking forgiveness with guideance, and need to be reminded that every tiny iddy biddy gesture should be for the sake of Allah, hence: Islam as a way of life. Our Ummah is in so need of Allah’s Help. Allahu Musta’an.     

Masha’Allah, with the increase of population an appreciation develops within for Allah’s Blessings.  Back in the US, I would always get giddy towards meeting a new sister, a revert I mean.  Even though I may have had ‘experience’ as a practicing Muslim longer than them, I looked at them as a motivator and inspiration towards my nafs in loving Islam even more.  It was their newbie eagerness being full-force that seemed to give me the kick I needed (and still need) from time to time (almost all the time!).  It’s sort of like that here,  I mean about living here in Madinah. Alhamdulilah, it is a test filled with blessings.  The thing is, I don’t always appreciate it as I should, nor do I always contemplate the magnitude of this place as I should.  So seeing these visitors who for some, for many, have literally spent their decades of lifesavings on this trip, to be here from all areas of the globe for just a few days and at most a few weeks, jumpstarts my gratitude towards Allah in being a resident of Prophet Muhammad alayhee salat wa’salaam’s City. This further highlights my need for Allah’s Forgiveness for the sins (especially those only He Knows I own), points out how little I do in return towards His Favors, and how ungrateful I am towards the opportunity of purifying my mind, my inner-self, living and growing on the grounds of our role models, and the best of them our Nabi, alayhee salaam.  Only Allah Knows how short my life will last, and how short my life will last living here in Madinatu-Nabi.  Seeing the world surround the sacred ground, increases my desire to know our beloved Prophet Muhammad, alayhee salat wa’salaam even more, and love for him and helps me put things in perspective when trying to get my kids to be his little copycats. May Allah facilitate that forever.                                                       

There are whack things though about this Saudi culture, and there are situations that have come up that  I have been in the face of which are totally backwards.  But looking at it objectively, the only reason why anyone is even here in Madinah-especially right in Masjid an-Nabawi is due to Allah’s Mercy and if a sister, brother or child is seen with faults, then surely I have faults of my own that most probably annoy others as well, yet I’m still here out of Allah’s Compassion.  This is not always easy to remember, but it is sometimes the only way to cope with misdeeds of others, and misdeeds of oneself.  May Allah help us to overlook each others’ faults, not get defensive with suggestions to worship Allah in the way He deserves, and the courage to ask for clarification on what is pleasing towards our Creator without a feeling of embarrassment. Ameen. 

To be a Muslim doesn’t mean one should negate their own cultures, ideas, even style of dress. It just means that one should adapt their ways towards what is accepting on Allah’s standards as expressed to us in the Quran and exemplified through the Sunnah.  Stepping into a collection of Muslim representations is really breathtaking.  When you get to see a modestly suit-like dressed turkish woman making seemingly sincere duaa as evidenced by tears rolling down to her knees, or when you observe the love of an Indonesian mother portrayed in carrying her child towards Rawda where our Noble Prophet, alayhee salat wasalaam is, to send salaams; or even when you are exposed to an African elderly woman sitting in a wheelchair  struggling whole-heartedly to keep her hands above her hands in hope for Allah’s Help; you can’t help but be moved, intrigued, or inspired if you have the least bit of eman.  Being a witness to Muslim diversity, and being a part of it is a blessing that Allah gives many of us to reflect upon no matter where on the face of this Earth we are upon.  The woman’s lifestyle to my right shares a hope in Allah’s tender Love to be thrown upon her in her struggle to live a righteous life.  The woman’s lifestyle to my left shares a fear of destruction and Allah’s horrendous Wrath in the Hereafter if death catches her on a path that is not on the Straight.  Physicians with donia clout yet with weak eman, and unlettered adults with the best of ihsaan..and everything in between is what we get to see at the Haramain.  All of whom are here hoping to build a piece of remembrance to bring back home, worshipping Allah in the blessed lands, and striving to acheive success in both worlds. 

The state of the Ummah has a distinct gift from Allah that we should all stop and really be grateful for.  It’s that we are the Ummah, we are the believers, we are those Allah promises us Jannah, and regardless of what field of study, what degree, what societal status, we are Muslims whom Allah promises us many gifts, not because we are worthy of them, but because He is truly ar-Rahman.  This swelling diversity, this ongoing rush of people jam into the doors of Masjid an-Nabi is not because of intentionally negating the imprtance good manners-but out of an emotional need & emotional excitement with the ironic aims of being content! Subhan’Allah.  Yeah things like this can get annoying, especially since I enter with my 4 small children, and there are situations even at the haram which can be upsetting and stressful..but that is when that little voice on my right-the ’maala’ikka’ remind me: “the reason why these people are here(residents or visitors) is due to Allah’s Will, Blessings, Mercy and everyone has faults so get over it and stress about your own instead of those fall-backs of others.”  The crowds are not expected to let up until after Ramadan insha’Allah for just a little before Hajj.  So we are just trying to go with the flow as they say, and make the best of a beautiful diverse traffic increase as we walk through the Doors of Mercy to visit the Prophet of Mercy and ultimately have gaining Allah’s Mercy.  Resident or visitor of this luminous city, we are all in it together.  May Allah facilitate a visit for those who seek it, and may Allah facilitate a hijrah to Madinah for those who seek it. Ameen. 

Imagine what Makkah must be like now..?! Seeing it on tv is intense enough, masha’Allah!  Just a couple of weeks ago, I was kind of in shock of the amount of people there.  We got there on a Wednesday, and were so grateful we had finished our Umrah right after Isha because by Thursday (which is always seems to be the busiest day of the week, here in Madinah or Makkah) tawaffin’ was very intense…masha’Allah!!  When we were on the second floor watching the masses  some commented that it seemed as packed as Ramadan down there.  Staring at bait’Allah while imagining the Angels encircling up above somewhere in the samawaat around another House of Allah, and contemplating the diversity of a small portion of our world-wide Ummah magnitized to the Kaaba below is something I highly rec’d for any Muslim at Masjid al-Haraam to experience.  Nothing else in the world matters but talking to Allah,askin g Him to assure a spot in Jannah when one sees thousands upon thousands seeking Allah in every Sunnah way possible.  I haven’t gone for hajj yet, but I can only imagine..and to think that we are just in the beginning of Umrah season. Masha’Allah, La Hawla Wala Quwatta illa’billah..

Now about the latest controversy at Masjid an-Nabi women’s section.  Saudi girls are taught from a very young age the importance of dressing modestly outside their homes, and rightfully so.  Though I’m pretty convinced that the belief here is that niqab is fard, even encouraged for the girls who haven’t entered into the age of accountability.  This would make sense seeing that young girls whose moms who wear hijab back in the West often would like to wear the hijabs out to the supermarkets or wherever. The women of Madinah tend to wear the black over-head abayah with the niqab covering the eyes & gloves too.  No peaking into them at all..masha’Allah.  In the haram, their over-head tends to drop to the shoulders while still in their hijab, gloves come off and there is a trail of their abayah dragging across the floor with every step.  At the Masjid an-Nabi’s girls’ school office, one sister kindly advised me to cover my face in the haram too because I guess the King or one of the higher-ups in Madinah, women are now allowed to come in the Mosque wih camera phones.  Subhan’Allah, because right before this ‘naseeha’ was given to me I noticed a group of Egyptian women snapping shots of each other inside and I warned them to hide or get rid of it; that they should stop before the female guards would see them.  Little did I know this was unnecessary.  As far as I remember there have always been video cameras in the women’s section?  I asked the female staff members about this, and they said that men only use the tapes in case of an emergency-with the female staff being aware that is going to happen first.   This might explain why many women guards (all saudi it seems) choose not to reveal their faces in the women’s prayer areas eeven before the let up of the camera phone ban.  But I did ask a few why they did and the response was “just because”maybe they are more comfortable that way in preserving their modesty even infront of other women I guess.  I ascribed that towards the culture and not Islam.  This also explains why the girls halaqas are now held downstairs in the mother-forbidden entry school rather than out in the midst of crowds within the prayer area. Also, probably to avoid distractions as visitors of Rasullilah, alayhee salat wasalaam tend to get all giddy when they see young girls learning Quran in a circle, masha’Allah tabarak’Allah. Kind of gets to me though that I can’t even see my girls physical set up that they spend their nights in.  But I guess I should get used to it as it is not any worse than the fact that I will also be forbidden entry into my son’s future school insha’Allah starting from first grade (…hmm, that’s if I even send him!!).

Nevertheless, the diversity of Muslimaat are in full effect where majority are not in niqab, you hear only the similarity of Islamic terms as common languages, and little girls from nations across the world filling in with their display of baby-doll like hijabs and the cutest of the cute clothing.  These are just a few reasons why I’ve always said that by going to the haram I feel a melting pot of cultures which is something I miss of being back in the US versus the ‘Sa’wadah’ of things here. Kheir insha’Allah.

Subhan’Allah, back to the camera phone issue for a second.  Last night in the courtyard, actually right on the side of the steps to the entrance of the Masjid, I noticed a woman guard raising her voice towards some Turkish women (Turkish sisters tend to be very kind, masha’Allah..). The women from Turkey didn’t speak any Arabic, but it was clear to them what was being said. NO CAMERAS.  The guard was so upset and very emotional, angry & sad..almost in tears about this actually it seemed. I approached her and tried calming her down.  I placed my hand upon her and reminded her to be patient and pointed out that this might be the first and last time these sisters are here and although they shouldn’t be taking pictures of people they are just in an emotional rush, encouraging her to let it go, in a gentle way.  She said to me that she was worried that women’s faces would be put up on the internet and if they wanted to take snap-shots it should be of the buildings not the people. I agreed with her and still continued to calm her down by saying we should make duaa for them to ask Allah for them to be guided..Alhamdulilah, the Iqama was then called and it was over-the ‘fight’.  This is a simple example of how BIG and threatening the camera phones are to the female workers of Masjid an-Nabi, even though this incident was outside.  

Because the nightly halaqas running for the different groups of girls are no longer in the prayer area, which means there are no more unregistered ‘maktaba’ classes for the kids who’d like to learn a thing or two in a playful environment during the week, only Thursdays & Fridays-weekend.  This is also a result of the cameras because the teachers are fearful that visitors will be taking their pictures, and it is not fair for the young girls to learn Quran from a person they can’t even see movement of lips or facial expression.  The haram women are requesting that we write a note of complaint in a book they have in the office with contact details so they can present this to the sheeyookh and managers of the haram, and also encouraging us to get our husbands involved.  They want to be able to expose their faces inside and they believe their right to do so is being infringed upon by allowing these cameras inside. Some of the guards at the entrance are ignoring the dropped rule and continue to search for the camera phones in purses and such.   This is the happening crisis here. 

I’ll conclude this camera phone thing with a personal note inshaAllah. I was outside as my 2 younger kids, Believer and Piety were praying while the older two went in with my mother.  Believer said “Mama, that lady is taking a picture of us.” I turned around and a young woman, she looked like an Emirati woman maybe, had already taken one without me knowing about it and asked if she could take another one…I said no (with a smile).  My mom thought I made a big a deal of it I think, and thought I should have just let her..but the truth is there are lots of other cute kids on the internet praying and such this woman can print out or whatever, and my maternal protectiveness of my children was brought out at that moment.  Back in the US, no one would ever take a random picture of a random someone openly like that.  Namely because privacy tends to be more respected, emphasized, and staring is something taught as very rude.  Here, it’s no problem at all.  I am not talking about lowering ones’ gaze towards the oppposite gender,  I’m saying that women stare at each other, teens, older girls (younger kids its natural and you can’t be upset by that)..it’s almost encouraged! Subhan’Allah. Please be extra careful with them when you are here, the last thing anyone needs to do is earn Allah’s displeasure by offending anyone…camera , staring, whatever. Jazak’Allahu Khair.

In any amount of disclosure of how this place is run, and how the cultural diversity is, the Saudis are, or whatever aspect about this Masjid and City, Masjid an-Nabi’s sweetness cannot be over-rated, and Madinah Munawarra are filled with virtues that can not be overstated.  So we shouldn’t confuse the sanctity of the place with the ill social conduct of some people. I’m not going to delve into all the negativities I see because the good outweighs all of that, and I fear that some reading this would take it as general assumptions about Muslims, worse, Islam. But I will tell you-whoever you are..that if you come here thinking that it is a utopic environment then you will be discouraged.  Because of this expanding diversity of thousands, please be aware that corruption does exist.  A wake-up call to myself first.

What I have discovered here, is that any small tiny bit of sin, wrong-doings or misdeeds is ironically magnified in vision.  It’s really a big deal here because of the sanctity of this luminous city or even in (especially in) Makkah where you have the Kaaba staring back at you.  A sour situation witnessed anywhere else on Earth just doesn’t hurt as much because somehow I tend to rationalize that most people are not aware of the fulfilling ways of Islam so I blame there ignorances of Allah’s deen for their faults and have hope that He will guide them.  On the flipside to that is here in Madinah, a simple tiny bit of goodness being poured out by others revives the spirit of Islam.  This enticement becomes a catchy motivator to the nafs of what Allah loves.  Wallahi, a smile means so much in the midst of a stressful moment, and even moreso here because most of the time, it is from a believer who is on a spritiual retreat.  I am in love with practicing Muslims, our history, and the blessings Allah has always bestowed on us through time.  I am in love with Madinah, it’s history, and it’s blessings of all time. Wa’alhamdulilah. But love hurts when it’s people do not always represent the best of Islam, including myself.  Love hurts when history is forgotten, and blessings are seen as a given rather than something uniquely special to our Ummah.  This is the only way how I can explain that Islam is a perfect system, but us Muslims are far from it.  Aren’t we taught that it is not our good deeds alone that will get us into Jannah? It is the Mercy of Allah.  Here, the goodness is enriched and the corruption is magnified..so my heart’s mission is left to aim at glamourizing the good and suppressing the evil I see..and hope that I can remain positive with all the negativity shouting at me, and praying I can negate the negativity with all the pure good I could rarely ever see living in the US.  Just another part of my jihad in Madinah Munawarra I guess.  Probably the jihad of any Muslim anywhere in the world dealing with others in our Ummah too.  May Allah guide each of us, making our children stronger in faith than we are, and granting us Firdous out of His Compassion and Mercy. Ameen. 

Wa’Alhamdulilahi Rabb’il Alameen.

                                                                                                                     …and Allah Knows Best.

• Jun 27 : Two-Fold of Boston & Madinah
• Jun 24 : US for Summer
• Apr 29 : Lowdown on Schools in Madinah Munawarra
• Apr 28 : Luqman’s Etiquettes to Avoid the ‘DIP’
• Mar 30 : Haramain Diversity Swells Big Time!